Death Dance
by Spunky0ne
Summary: As he comes of age, Byakuya witnesses something he wasn't meant to see and is set on the path to a death struggle with Aizen Sousuke...yaoi, mpreg...Renji/Byakuya, Aizen/Gin, Aizen/Byakuya...some non-con/dub-con
1. You Shouldn't Have Looked

**Death Dance**

**By Spunky0ne**

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**(Written by reader request, this is a rewrite of ****Stained Blossom**** as a Bya/Ren story. It will play out very differently than ****Stained Blossom**** and has a lot of new material added, but will include some scenes from that story. As with the other story, this one is angsty and mpreg, but the bonding that occurs will differ in definition, so the story that emerges will not be the same as the one it is modeled after. I sincerely thank those who PM'ed me to suggest it. Thanks so much for reading! Love to all, Spunky.)**

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**Chapter 1: You Shouldn't Have Looked**

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I knew what I was doing…and you shouldn't have looked. As you watched me writhe beneath the hands of the devil, your own eyes were burned. Your heart went out to me, and you offered me a kind hand. And unknowingly, unwittingly, and against the wishes of my shattered heart, I placed your hand in his. I won't say that I am sorry, because it will never be enough.

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Byakuya sighed softly and slipped away from the sounds of revelry. Although the guests were gathered in his honor, and in truth, he was pleased at having reached his eighteenth year and been named heir, the day was viciously empty without his father. He tried, as he walked, to remember the last time they had come here together, to walk the forest path, to stand under the sweet sakura trees and gaze up at the full moon together.

"So Yoruichi taicho tells me that you are very swift with your flash step," Soujun said, smiling down at Byakuya as the mention of the Shihoin heir made him wince and narrow his eyes.

_Soujun chuckled softly._

"_What is it, segare? You do not enjoy her company?" he asked softly._

"_I can't stand her!" Byakuya exclaimed, "All she ever does is make me angry! Why must I train with her? I want to train with you and grandfather."_

"_And you will," his father promised, "but there is much that you need to learn that Yoruichi taicho specializes in. Byakuya, you must realize that…being heir is a dangerous thing. There are many who will seek your death, both among your enemies and even among those who are supposed to be your allies. My father assures me that this training is necessary and I think that we should trust him."_

_They reached the top of the hill and dropped down onto their knees beneath a sakura tree. The waterfall rushed swiftly over the cliff in front of them and the sound lulled Byakuya until he leaned softly against Soujun, resting his head on his father's shoulder and starting to drift off. He could hear the soft words in his ear and he knew then that his father understood._

"Byakuya, I know what we ask of you is sometimes very difficult, but you were made strong…stronger than I will ever be…and with that strength comes responsibility. As they ask more and more of you, give them what they ask for, but always keep your true self there inside, where it can't be taken. That way, though you must know the weight of responsibility, you will also know how to free yourself. Though you must face the rigors of training and battle, you will also know the peace of resting under the full moon, just like this. And though many things in your life will be chosen for you, you will always be sure in the choices that are yours. I love you. You remind me so much of your mother. I wish she could see you, Byakuya. She would be so proud."

_He opened his eyes and let them meet his father's._

"_What was she like?" he asked softly._

_He had always been afraid to ask…because he knew she had died when he was born and he saw the way his father's eyes changed whenever he talked about her. So he had never openly asked before. He only dared speak of her when his father did first. But Soujun only smiled at his question._

"_I was wondering when your curiosity would overcome your desire not to make me feel pain speaking of her. But know this. I like to speak of her…and I will tell you anything you want to know."_

_And suddenly freed of the worry of hurting his father, he found that he wanted to know everything._

"_She was actually born in the spirit dimension. Her father was a member of the royal guard and her mother was an attendant of the queen. She came with them to the cherry blossom viewing we hosted here that year…and we met in this very place. I was here…like this, looking up at the full moon and she was taking a moonlight walk. She didn't see me sitting here and she just walked out to the edge of the cliff and stood there, staring. I couldn't breathe or give myself away for fear she would fall. But finally, she turned, and she noticed me sitting beneath the tree. She said, "Are you enjoying watching me, Kuchiki-san? Were you planning to make your presence known?" I didn't know what to say, so I stood and walked closer…and the closer I got, the more beautiful she became. She had long, thick black hair like yours that waved in the wind. Her eyes were not gray like ours, but a lively emerald green. I apologized for staring, but she just laughed. "I have to confess," she told me, "I didn't come here by chance. I followed you." I asked her why…and she said, "Because when I see something beautiful, I can't help but look closer. When I saw you, I thought that I had never seen a man so beautiful. I wanted to get closer." I laughed and reminded her that there were many beautiful people gathered for the cherry blossom viewing. She said, "I wasn't speaking of you in that way. When I say beautiful, it means, not just a lovely form, but a beautiful soul. You are unique among the nobles. That is why I wanted to get closer." I don't quite remember what happened after that. My heart was beating too fast and my head didn't stop spinning until after we were married."_

_Byakuya felt his lips smiling. His father didn't have that sad look in his eyes anymore. He looked happy remembering her like that. He left Soujun buried in his memories and leaned against his shoulder again. This time, the sakura and the rush of water lulled him all of the way to sleep. He didn't feel himself being lifted and carried back to the manor…or the sounds of voices calling his father away on his last mission. His very last memory of his father was the gentle feel of Soujun's lips touching his forehead._

Byakuya was startled out of his thoughts by a barely stifled sound of pain, somewhere nearby. He heard soft male voices and turned toward the sound. It came from beneath the cliff, further down the trail that led from the top of the waterfall, down to the lake, beneath it. He recognized one voice as Ichimaru Gin's and continued to edge closer, carefully placing his feet. Gin's strangled cry startled him and he froze, poised and ready to flash step to help, but sensing extreme danger.

"Be quiet," said a voice that sounded vaguely familiar, but was too muffled for him to place, "Stop making such a fuss."

He moved closer, looking cautiously through the brush that concealed him. Gin bit back a sobbing cry and Byakuya could hear the sound of a bared body slapping roughly against another. He could see the outline of a dark form lying atop a smaller one, the larger hips thrusting heavily into the smaller…and he could see that the smaller one was shaking. The bigger man let out a satisfied groan and fell against the back of the other. He kissed the smaller one's neck and shoulder, whispering softer words. But his last ones made Byakuya freeze in place and nearly stopped his heart.

"I don't want to see you look at any of them that way again! They are _his_. They are part of what holds people like us down and makes us feel small. You became mine because you wanted to break away from that…to stop them from hurting us and treating us like dogs. Don't forget that, the next time one of them lures you…Gin."

He couldn't hear Gin's answer.

Byakuya sank into the brush and concealed his reiatsu. He waited breathlessly as the other man returned along the trail, headed for the manor. When all was quiet, he moved towards the soft sound of Gin's heartbroken sobs. He reached the youth and moved closer, then reached out to touch his shoulder.

Gin reared back, wild-eyed with fear. He gave a choked cry, then stopped himself, staring at the young Kuchiki heir.

"Who…who was that?" Byakuya asked, trying to keep the tremor out of his voice.

The moonlight fell onto Gin's naked body and Byakuya saw blood and semen on his skin.

"Who did this to you?"

Gin shook his head and slowly put his clothes back in place.

"It doesn't matter. Just turn around and walk away. You don't want to get involved in this."

Byakuya continued to watch as Gin tied the belt at his waist and took a stumbling step. He leaned against a tree, trying not to cry out. The noble's eyes softened and he took a step forward. He set a slender hand on the other youth's arm and guided him to the ground. Gin shivered softly.

"What are you doing? I told you to leave. He might come back."

"I can handle myself," Byakuya assured him, "I am going to heal you. Hold still."

Byakuya sat down next to him and removed the heavy kenseiken. He set it down in the grass, then moved closer to Gin. Gin quivered softly under his hands as his power flared and sank into the wounded youth's body, but slowly calmed as Byakuya's hands moved over him.

"Why are you doing this?" Gin asked quietly, "I always had the feeling that you didn't like me."

"One doesn't have to be close to another to afford that other basic human decencies, Gin. The one who did this to you is a monster. You should tell someone."

"No," said Gin quietly, "You don't understand. No one realizes but me…and if I say anything, then he will only hurt me worse. He said he would make me wish that I was dead. Don't tell me to go to anyone…and don't tell anyone, yourself, Byakuya. He'd just kill you on sight. He's that dangerous."

"Then we should tell someone together…perhaps your taicho would understand…"

"No," Gin gasped, his eyes panicked, "No, Byakuya. We can't tell anyone…please…"

They froze at the sound of footsteps on the nearby trail. They waited until the sound died away, then flash stepped back to the manor and slipped silently into Byakuya's bedroom. Byakuya helped Gin to the edge of the bed, where he sat and waited quietly as Byakuya bared him to the waist and carefully finished healing him.

"I know there are other injuries," he said softly, "Shall I heal them for you?"

Gin shook his head.

"I…I don't think I can stand to be touched there. I might cry out and someone would come in. You have done enough for me, Byakuya. Arigato."

Before he could move, Gin leaned closer and smiled at him.

"You are nothing like what he says. You are right. He is the monster."

He closed the distance between them and captured Byakuya's startled lips in a gentle kiss. Stunned, Byakuya remained frozen as the kiss deepened and Gin's tongue touched his lips.

Both boys pulled away in shock as the door opened and Ginrei stepped into the room, followed by Aizen Sousuke. Gin made a soft, terrified gasp and Byakuya caught his breath sharply.

"What is the meaning of this?" Ginrei asked in a low, enraged growl, his reiatsu raging around them until they could barely breathe.

"G-gomen nasai, Kuchiki-sama," Gin said in a trembling voice, "He was only healing me."

"I found him in the forest near the waterfall. He…had fallen…and was injured. It is as he said. I was healing him."

"And since when does one heal by placing his mouth on the other's?" asked Aizen, nearly smiling, "I hadn't realized that healing was such friendly thing…or I might have specialized in it."

Ginrei glared at Byakuya.

"Explain yourself," he said coldly.

Byakuya thought quickly, but couldn't speak.

"It was my fault," said Gin quickly, "You have my humblest apologies, Kuchiki-sama. I…I wasn't thinking. I was just so…thankful for the relief of pain."

"It must have been a dreadful fall," said Aizen calmly, "You must let me see you to the fourth division, Gin."

"Byakuya," said Ginrei in a stern voice, "Where is your kenseiken?"

Byakuya took a surprised breath, touching where it had been. He saw the anger in Ginrei's eyes and scrambled to his feet.

"I…it…must have slipped off when…when I was bringing Gin back. I will go and find it at once, Grandfather!" he said, flash stepping to the door. He froze as Aizen's hand wrapped around his wrist and the gentle brown eyes found his.

"You should take your attendant," he said softly, glancing back at Gin, "You wouldn't want to 'fall' too."

Byakuya nodded breathlessly and motioned for his attendant to follow him. He flash stepped away from the manor too quickly and left his attendant far behind. As he ran, all he could see was Gin's shattered expression, and the boy's sounds of pain filled his ears. Everything inside him screamed at him to go back and talk to his grandfather, but Ginrei was angry…and Byakuya didn't dare say anything to him until he had calmed. He shook at the memory of Gin's mouth fastening on his and the door being thrown open, exposing the kiss.

He slowed as he reached the waterfall and quickly returned to the place where he had found Gin. Strangely, although he found the kenseiken, all signs of what had happened there, the flattened grass, the broken bits of brush…even the traces of blood were gone. He set the kenseiken back in place, shaking his head. He couldn't make sense of it. He flash stepped back to the manor, unnerved at not finding his attendant as he worked his way back. He reached the manor and was given a terse command by Ginrei to farewell the guests and go to bed. He started to ask about his attendant, but was frozen in his tracks by his grandfather's spiritual pressure and by the time the last guest left, he had forgotten his concern. He undressed and tumbled into bed, then laid, tossing and turning all night. Gin's sounds of pain rose up hauntingly out of the darkness, making him shiver inside. The other man's body pounded relentlessly against Gin's…then against his. Byakuya sat up, shivering and sweating. He called softly for his attendant, but heard no answer.

It was early morning, far too early for the sounds of the voices outside his room. He climbed out of bed and wrapped a yukata around his quivering body, then stepped to the garden doors and listened.

"We just found him, Ginrei-dono…ripped apart…like he was attacked by some kind of monster!"

"Shall we wake Byakuya and ask if he saw anything?" said another voice.

"No," said Ginrei, "If he had seen anything, he would have told us. We will tell him when he wakes…Double the guards around him."

Byakuya swallowed hard and returned to his bed. He knew better than to think it was a coincidence.

_This was a warning!_


	2. Drawn In

**Chapter 2: Drawn in**

**(Warning - Non-con)**

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_**It wasn't enough to walk cautiously. Even knowing you were there, I could not take the path that led around you. You changed the ground beneath my feet and the scene before my eyes. I ran from you and still turned directly into your arms. They hold me so that I cannot breathe…and will not let me go…**_

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Byakuya looked up as the housekeeper led Aizen Sousuke into the gardens. He didn't know quite why, but a shiver passed through him at the sight of the man. It wasn't that he had ever done anything remotely threatening. And the only time he had felt uncomfortable in the seemingly gentle taicho's presence was the night before, when he had confronted Byakuya about kissing Gin. He decided then that it must have been about the kiss. He was still embarrassed, first that it had happened and second that they had been caught at it. It made sense then that the one who had seen through his thinly veiled lie would make him feel uncomfortable. He brushed the feeling off and forced his body to relax as Aizen joined them at the table.

"Greetings, Aizen taicho," said Ginrei, looking up at him, "I was just telling Byakuya about your award ceremony."

"Congratulations, Aizen taicho," added Byakuya.

"Arigato," Aizen said, sitting down at the table.

The server poured him a cup of tea.

"And you just celebrated an honor of your own, Byakuya," Aizen said to the youth, "I think every noble in existence attended your passage ceremony."

"Well," said Ginrei, his lips curving upward, "it isn't every day that a future clan leader reaches his eighteenth year. We are very proud of Byakuya."

Byakuya sipped quietly at his tea.

"I believe you said that you had a request to make," Ginrei prompted Aizen.

"Ah, yes," said Aizen, his eye falling on Byakuya and sending another small stab of discomfort through the boy's heart, "I am overseeing a short mission to the living world which will require me to pose as a wealthy businessman. I have a need for an attendant, fukutaicho level to undertake this mission with me, but my own fukutaicho is overwhelmed with other responsibilities. In addition, the mission requires the attendant to be multi-lingual and to have a talent in calligraphy. Ukitake taicho informs me that your Byakuya is capable in both of these areas. Moreover, he looks the part…young, fine features, high intelligence. I was wondering if you might allow me to borrow him for a few days."

Byakuya's first instinct was to jump at the opportunity. Because of his age, Ginrei had a tendency to keep him close by, despite his proven ability as a fukutaicho. But with his eighteenth birthday passed, he was certain that the elder noble would be likely to consider it appropriate for him to partake of longer and more dangerous missions that would call for him to be more on his own. Still, he felt that twinge of discomfort again.

"Byakuya?" said Ginrei.

Byakuya nodded calmly.

"I am willing," he said quietly.

Ginrei bent his head, studying his tea.

"Things are quiet at the sixth division. I believe that it would not be a burden to allow him to accompany you. When do you leave for this mission?"

"I'm afraid we must leave immediately. Fortunately, he needn't bring anything. Everything has been prepared for our trip. I would, of course, have given more warning, had I been able, but…"

"Not to worry," Ginrei assured him, "Byakuya is quite capable of the necessary flexibility required on short notice missions."

"I am glad to hear that," said Aizen, "and I am grateful for the assistance. I do not wish to be rude, but we will need to go. Our transfer team is already in place and just waiting for us."

Byakuya stood and joined Aizen, forcing away the unwanted anxiety. He took a calming breath.

"Again, arigato," said Aizen, "I will have your grandson back as soon as this mission is successfully completed."

They took their leave of the noble and flash stepped away from Kuchiki Manor. Byakuya followed in silence as the elder shinigami led him to the senkaimon. They passed over into the living world and slipped into the gigais their attendants provided them with. Then, they climbed into a limousine and sped away. Byakuya felt Aizen watching him out of the corner of his eye. The elder shinigami smiled bracingly.

"He hardly lets you out of his sight, right?" he queried softly.

Byakuya gazed at him for a moment, then nodded.

"It is customary, considering he is grooming me for clan leadership," he replied.

"But," Aizen said, glancing out the window, "all young people yearn for a bit of excitement, a bit of freedom, ne?"

Byakuya looked down at his hands.

"Of course," he admitted, "but being made clan leader is a great responsibility…a great weight. And it requires the sacrifice of such things, for the good of the clan."

"Still," Aizen went on, "youthful hearts become restless, when held back so. I imagine that this is what led to that kiss I witnessed."

Byakuya felt a flush rise on his cheeks.

"Aizen taicho…I…"

"Not to worry," the elder shinigami said calmly, "I'm sure it meant nothing."

"Oh…no, it was…a mistake…just a mistake."

"Hmmm…" said Aizen thoughtfully, as the limousine pulled up to their hotel.

The valet opened the car door and they stepped out onto the entry carpet, and followed it into the richly luxuriant lobby. Aizen kept the young noble at his side as he checked in and they received their keys. They took the elevator to the top floor and turned toward their penthouse suite.

"I booked us into a single suite, because you are acting as my personal assistant. I am a businessman who requires your assistance at all hours, so I will need you to remain close by."

He opened the door and motioned for Byakuya to enter. The noble stepped forward and Aizen followed him into the room. Byakuya paused in surprise as Gin stepped forward to meet them. He felt a chill as he noted that Gin looked surprised as well.

"I thought your fukutaicho was…"

"Yes, yes," said Aizen, brushing off his concern, "He seems to have found a break in his busy schedule. Come, Byakuya, we will show you to your room."

As they passed the sword stand near the door, Aizen picked up his zanpakuto.

"That is Kyoka Suigetsu?" queried Byakuya.

Aizen's lips curled into a smile.

"Yes," he said softly.

He drew the blade and let the young noble admire it for a moment. Then, he raised it, looking as though he planned to return it to the sheath, but instead held it point down and released his shikai.

Byakuya froze.

His smile widening, Aizen quickly gathered the spellbound youth into his arms and carried him into the bedroom, calling for Gin to follow. He set Byakuya down on the bed and loosened and opened his clothing, laying bare the sweet, white flesh he had been craving for several years. He hadn't dared to touch the youth before, so careful was the watch around him, but having reached his eighteenth year, the controls and protections were loosened and given what had happened at the manor, Aizen wasn't going to pass on the chance to taste the noble youth's body and simultaneously bring him under Kyoka Suigetsu's control. He leaned over the youth, touching his face and calling his name as he released the hypnosis.

Byakuya looked up at him, then Gin, blinking and suddenly realizing where he was and how he had been partially undressed. A flush came over his face and he started to sit up. Aizen gently pushed him back down.

"Don't try to get up," he instructed the youth, "You lost consciousness and I loosened your clothing to allow you to breathe more freely."

"B-but…" Byakuya began.

"Hush, now," Aizen went on, "You should rest."

The noble's dark eyes looked uncertain, but still trusting. Aizen looked down at him kindly and touched his face again. Byakuya looked back at him uncertainly, highly aware that Gin was shaking.

"A-aizen taicho?"

The brown eyes gazed down into his and Byakuya felt his heart quicken.

"You admitted to me that you long for freedom, Byakuya," Aizen said softly, "I was thinking that while we are here, we might take a bit of that freedom…and enjoy it together."

"How do you mean?" the youth said, his voice filling with hesitance.

"You are about to achieve a position of great power, but in many ways, you are still naïve."

He leaned closer, bringing his lips to the reclined noble's ear.

"You are proven on the battlefield, intelligent and well educated, but your body," he said, letting his fingers slide down the long, soft throat, "your body is still untouched. You are still innocent, Byakuya…and that could become a liability."

"H-how so?" Byakuya said, trying unsuccessfully to sound unaffected.

Aizen smiled.

"Your body wants to be touched, loved, claimed…and your heart will undoubtedly follow it. You want to put your heart in a safe place, with someone you trust, so that it will not be stolen and used against you. That kiss you gave Gin was a dangerous thing…a kiss that could bring you more trouble than you know. Because, you see…Gin belongs to me. No one touches him but me. His heart, his body and soul are mine. Do you understand?"

"Hai, Aizen taicho…b-but…"

"When someone touches Gin," Aizen said, slipping out of his clothes, "there is a price to be paid. And since you have touched him, you must deal with me."

"N-no…"

"Undress yourself, Gin."

Aizen turned his head and brought his lips to the noble's, capturing them and caressing them gently with his. Byakuya stiffened at the intimate contact, his breath catching. He tried to pull away, but the elder shinigami settled his weight on top of the youth, holding him down and increasing the pressure against his lips.

"Aizen t-taicho! P-please…st…" Byakuya stammered.

He gave a surprised gasp as his awakening arousal was touched by another that was already hard and leaking. Aizen nibbled gently at his throat and ear as Gin stood frozen at the side of the bed.

"You feel it, don't you?" he asked softly, "Your body wants mine…and mine wants yours. It's all right for it to be that way. It's quite natural. We are both beings of great power. It is only right that we should find each other and share our passions. And besides…you do owe me…and all who owe me, pay what is due…"

"No…the clan rules say that…"

Aizen leaned forward and made his words disappear as he thrust his tongue deeply into the noble's mouth, stroking the length of his tongue, teasing it with his warmth and seeking to calm the trembling body held trapped beneath his. Byakuya tried again to pull away, but was held down too tightly. His eyes met Gin's and he saw a shock of guilt pass over the other youth's face.

"We won't worry about the rules of your clan for now," he said softly, "While you are with me, I make the rules."

He forced his way again into the depths of Byakuya's mouth and probed it with a blazing, hungry tongue. At the same time, his hands moved over the tender, white flesh, exploring it with deep, sensuous touches that made Byakuya's eyes close and his body quiver. He moaned anxiously into the elder shinigami's mouth and Aizen kissed him harder.

He knew that the older man wanted more…and he was determined to have it…

"Aizen taicho," he said in a trembling voice, "Please…you have to stop. This is wrong."

Strong hands gripped him and dragged him onto his knees and turned him to face Aizen.

"No, Byakuya, what you did was wrong. I am only taking what is rightfully mine."

Byakuya glanced down at their naked bodies and blushed. Aizen smiled wickedly.

"You see how much my body wants yours, ne?" he said softly, "Come closer, then, Byakuya. I want you to put your mouth on me. I want you to taste me."

"No…"

Aizen's eyes remained calm and gentle, but Byakuya felt the press of his spiritual pressure close in and it became harder for him to draw a breath.

"You seem to think that you are making the decisions here…but let me educate you, little noble. Not everyone will place you on a pedestal…and there are those who will take you to your knees and make you bow before them. _I_ am one of those people."

Aizen reached toward Gin and the trembling youth handed him his sword. Byakuya tried to draw back, but all at once, his body refused to obey him. Aizen smiled.

"Not many people know the different powers of my weapon. Kyoka Suigetsu has power over the senses and with it, I will have your cooperation, whether or not you are willing."

"Why?" Byakuya asked breathlessly, "Why are you doing this?"

"Why?" Aizen repeated calmly, "Simple. You touched something that belongs to me. I will show you why it is not wise to do such a thing."

"Aizen taicho…nothing…"

"Shut up…and put your mouth on me, little noble."

He moved so that he leaned back against the pillows, watching intently as his power forced Byakuya to move closer and lower himself slowly down in between the elder shinigami's parted thighs. He hesitated for a moment and Aizen felt a shiver pass through the youth's body. He smiled and reached out to stroke the noble's hair gently.

"That's a good boy," he said softly, "Go ahead, Byakuya…taste it. It is not unpleasant, I promise you. And if you do as I tell you, I will go easy on you."

There was another short hesitation, as Byakuya strained against the pull of Aizen's power. Then he felt his head being forced down and his mouth opened and wrapped around the elder shinigami's hardness. Warm fluid leaked out into Byakuya's mouth, choking him slightly and making him cough and gasp as he released his hold. Aizen continued stroking his hair and slowly coaxed him back into position. He took in Aizen's length more slowly, adjusting gradually as he began to move up and down. Aizen groaned and panted, forcing himself to hold back, his eyes obviously enjoying the sight of Byakuya on his hands and knees, bowed before him and pleasuring him.

"Does it taste good?" he hissed, raising his hips.

"Hmmmm…" moaned the entranced youth.

"Gin," Aizen said quietly, "Prepare him."

The words still reached Byakuya's fevered mind and, realizing what was about to happen, he struggled to regain some kind of control. Aizen's hands forced him down and held him tightly.

"Gin!" he said, more sharply, "Now."

It was impossible to breathe anymore, and Byakuya gagged and moaned, trying to break free of the hold of the hypnosis, but his body only stirred sluggishly. His head swam and he began to lose consciousness, then he felt the hands loosen and managed to take a few short breaths. Then he felt Gin's fingers touch him and lost control. His reiatsu flared and he regained enough strength to pull free of Aizen. Gin backed away, a terrified expression on his face as Byakuya came to his feet and flash stepped toward the window. An arm wrapped around his waist and Aizen took him to the floor. Reiatsu flared around him as his spirit energy was sealed away and kido ropes lashed around his wrists. Aizen carried him back to the bed and laid him on his stomach, fastening his wrists securely to the headboard. He forced the slender legs open wide and tied them to the bedposts, then beckoned Gin closer.

"Put it in his mouth and keep him quiet!" he said sharply.

Seeing that Aizen had no plans to finish preparing Byakuya, Gin moved the stunned noble's head into position over his, as yet, soft member.

"You shouldn't fight him," Gin breathed, leaning forward so that Aizen wouldn't hear, "He'll only hurt you more. Try to stay quiet and he'll leave us sooner."

Byakuya said nothing, but Gin felt him shiver as Aizen moved into position behind him and entered him roughly. Byakuya gave a strangled gasp and moaned in protest. His body tightened and shook heavily as the elder shinigami moved at a punishing speed. His hands took hold of the soft, white hips and held them in place as he continued. Gin stroked the noble's hair down where Aizen couldn't see, and tried not to hear the soft, pained sobs. His face flushed hotly as he tried to keep control of himself, but Aizen turned his eyes on the silver-haired youth.

"Hurry up," he ordered Gin.

Gin quivered. He wouldn't last much longer, gazing down at Byakuya's beautiful and tormented face and feeling the other young man's mouth on him. He held the noble's head in place, moaning loudly as he emptied himself. Aizen's lips quirked as Byakuya tried to pull away from Gin, and he choked again.

"Swallow," Gin told him quietly.

Byakuya choked and gasped…and avoided the other youth's eyes. Aizen leaned forward and turned Byakuya's head, then licked away the bits of fluid that had leaked from his mouth. He began moving again, at the same time, reaching down between the youth's thighs and taking hold of his inflamed member, stroking it in time with his movements. He laid his body along the length of Byakuya's back, and laughed into his ear as a soft sobbing sound issued from the youth. His thoughts were taken away suddenly as Byakuya began to climax and the tightening around him sent him careening over the edge as well. He released deep inside the noble's sweet, perfect body, then pressed his face to his cheek, letting his weight settle onto Byakuya's back.

"You see," he said softly, "It goes easier for you when you obey and harder when you don't. I will warn you now, Byakuya…Do not touch Gin again. And do not tell a soul what happened here. You will remain here and provide us with pleasure until our mission is over, after which, you will return to Kuchiki Manor and forget it ever happened. If you say a word, I will come for you…and what happened to you attendant, will happen to you. When you leave, you will not remember what happened, but your subconscious will remember the consequences of giving anything away…"

He climbed carefully out of the bed and glanced at Gin.

"Clean him up and leave him bound. I don't want him to escape. I want to enjoy him more when I get back after my meetings. Watch him, Gin."

He left the room and a few minutes later, the youths heard the sound of a shower running. Gin leaned over Byakuya and released the restraints. The noble sat up, wiping the tears away and staring.

"What are you doing? He said…"

"I know what he said…but I also know that he won't kill me for it. Just get out of here."

Byakuya picked up his clothes and began to dress.

"You have to come with me. We'll go to my grandfather."

"He will kill us…and your grandfather. Byakuya…no one realizes how powerful he is. Get out of here. You're not going to remember anything anyway. Just get away…go…"

"I can't leave you here," Byakuya insisted, "He's going to hurt you again."

"I can handle it," hissed Gin, "I know how to manage his anger. It will be worse if I try to leave."

Byakuya tied his belt and stood on quivering legs, thinking quickly.

"I have to knock you out," he said, finally.

Gin smiled.

"You'll be more gentle than he will, ne? And he might not beat me as much," he commented.

He released the seal on the noble's spirit energy and Byakuya gathered his power. Gin dropped to his knees and Byakuya moved in behind him. He paused for a moment.

"I'm sorry," the noble said softly.

"Don't be," Gin replied, "I got you into this."

Byakuya sighed and shook his head. He sent a shock of kido through Gin, catching his body as he lost consciousness and easing him to the floor.

"I just wish I could get you out," Byakuya whispered.

He moved to the window, opening it and slipping out onto the ledge. He heard the shower turn off and flash stepped away quickly. He raced toward home, but as the distance shortened, his mind spun strangely and he felt something odd passing over him. By the time he passed through the senkaimon, he forgot why he was running. And when he passed through the gates of Kuchiki Manor, he came upon his grandfather and slid to a stop. Ginrei stared at him in dismay.

"Byakuya," he said sternly, staring at the youth's disheveled appearance and the tearstains on his cheeks, "How did you end up in this dreadful state."

The youth stepped closer and collapsed into his grandfather's arms.


	3. Penitence

**Chapter 3: Penitence**

**XXXXXXXXXX**

**_Let me feel the sting of your disappointment. My heart cries out for redemption, although it does not remember the sin. I will fall on my knees and beg forgiveness, willingly bearing the weight of your disapproval, if only to cleanse myself in your eyes. Do not look down on me any longer. Take my hand and bring me back into your heart again…I am sorry…_**

**XXXXXXXXXX**

Ginrei looked up as Unohana taicho entered the room.

"How is my grandson?" he asked quickly.

"Kuchiki fukutaicho is going to be fine," the healer stated calmly, "but he has been through quite an ordeal. It is clear that he was attacked sexually. But oddly, though his body still bore what should have been readable samples of semen from his attacker, we were not able to determine an identity."

Ginrei's eyes were wide and disbelieving.

"Byakuya was…"

"He was raped."

Ginrei's eyes grew intense.

"And you say that there was genetic material, but it was not identifiable?" he asked, frowning, "I want you to send samples to the twelfth division. Kurotsuchi taicho may be able to shed some light on this."

"Of course, Kuchiki taicho. I will have the samples sent right away. And, as for Byakuya, I think it would be good for him to remain here for a few days. I have contacted a therapist to come and treat him for post-traumatic stress."

"Is he awake, then?" Ginrei asked solemnly.

"No," Unohana said, glancing at the door to the noble's hospital room, "He was awake very briefly, but I made him sleep for the duration of the examination and treatment of his wounds."

"Then, our attendants will remove him to Kuchiki Manor for treatment by our clan healers. Our rules require specific steps for purification after such a thing."

Unohana frowned, but nodded.

"I understand that it is your right to see to your grandson's treatment, so I will have his records sent to Kuchiki Manor for your healers to refer to as his healing continues."

Ginrei nodded.

"Byakuya will be healed and purified…and I want you to see that not a word of what happened leaves this room."

"Of course, Kuchiki taicho," the healer said, her eyes troubled.

XXXXXXXXXX

_Where am I?_

_What happened to me?_

_It hurts..._

Byakuya groaned and slowly forced his eyes open, his breath catching at the pain in his body and confusion sweeping over him. He blinked several times and looked around him, slowly recognizing that he was lying in his own bedroom. He tried to remember what had happened that could have caused so much pain, but found a large blank space in his memory. He vaguely remembered having tea in the garden with his grandfather, but everything after that was dark and hazy.

"Byakuya," said his grandfather's solemn voice.

And he knew something had to be very, very wrong. When his grandfather used that voice, it was not a good thing…

"G-grandfather?" he whispered, "Did I…become ill?"

Ginrei lowered his eyes.

"You left this house and went on a mission to the living world…and returned unexpectedly early. Your clothes were in disarray and you collapsed upon arriving. Do you not remember this?"

He started to shake his head and the room spun around him.

"N-no, Grandfather. I remember nothing beyond having tea in the gardens with you…and perhaps leaving. But I do not remember arriving at my destination."

He met Ginrei's eyes and felt a stab of fear. There was concern there, but there was also disappointment.

"Grandfather, what is it? What has happened?" he asked quickly.

Ginrei's eyes still did not meet his. Byakuya felt chilled inside and tried to sit up. But his head spun again and pain shot through abdomen and back. He knew better than to allow any sound of his pain to escape him.

"You have been disgraced…and your body fouled. You remember nothing of this?"

"No…no, nothing…" Byakuya said, his eyes widening, "I can't remember anything…"

Ginrei's eyes darkened.

"Your body houses great power…and as the Kuchiki heir, you bear the responsibility for keeping that body pure. When a leader or heir is disgraced as you were, we have very specific rules that guide the purification, the removal of the stain. Our healers are ready to see to that purification. Come."

Byakuya knew better than to even hesitate. He pushed the covers back and slowly stood, then his legs began to give way and pain shot through his midsection. He couldn't quite bite back the catch of his breath and a soft groan as one of the healers stepped forward and caught him, then set him back on his feet. He saw the sympathy that flashed in his grandfather's eyes, but it was gone again as quickly as it had appeared, and the stern expression returned. Byakuya straightened and pulled away from the healer. Despite the continuing flashes of pain, he held himself perfectly still as he was dressed.

They left his bedroom and proceeded silently down the walkway and out of Kuchiki Manor, then turned toward the Kuchiki Council Hall. Byakuya made himself a silent shadow in his grandfather's wake, having no idea what was going to happen, and still reeling over the facts of what had happened to him.

He understood that he had been raped. The cold, medical facts of what happened were plain in the pain that still assailed him. But he remembered nothing. He felt a shiver go through him as they continued towards the council hall.

_How could something like that happen and there be no memory of it? _

It seemed impossible. He thought again of sitting in the garden…and of a guest arriving. He remembered feeling anxious…and he remembered getting up to go somewhere.

His mind continued to spin around the facts as they ascended the council hall steps and proceeded into the council chambers. As his feet touched the dark, hardwood floor of the council chambers, it suddenly occurred to Byakuya what was happening around him. He let go of his confusion about what had happened to him and took in the solemn faces of the councilors. He had stood before them many times, but had never seen them so stern and dour, so dark in their reiatsu…and all of them, refusing to meet his eyes directly…like Ginrei. He shivered inside, but was very careful not to let the emotion reach his face or become visible.

_They act as though I did something horrible._

_But I never strayed in my heart._

_Still, I understand that my body was contaminated with sin. They cannot bear to look upon me, so fouled._

He stood before the councilors as the head councilor called the meeting to order and Ginrei and the healers left him standing where he was and took their seats. They still would not look into his eyes…

"We meet for a distressing occasion," said the head councilor in a low tone, "It has been brought to our attention that the heir has been disgraced. His body has been made impure and must be purified of this sin. Before we can get to the purification, we must know the exact circumstances of the misconduct. Kuchiki Byakuya, you will explain to the council what happened on your mission to the living world."

Byakuya caught his breath sharply, then released it and forced his body to relax. He felt their eyes on him, the weight of their disapproval.

"Gomen nasai, I remember nothing," he said quietly.

"You remember nothing at all?" the head councilor said, sounding surprised.

"Hai."

The councilors exchanged glances and the head councilor continued.

"Byakuya, do you remember being given the assignment?"

The young heir furrowed his brow, thinking deeply.

"I recall being in the garden at the manor and leaving, but not why or where I was going."

The head councilor sighed.

"We must determine the truth of your mental state…and find whether you are telling us the truth or lying…or if perhaps your mind has been tampered with…"

There was nothing to be gained by resisting them.

Byakuya's heart skipped painfully, but he nodded and bowed his head. The councilors left their seats and stepped down onto the floor, making a circle around him. Only Ginrei held back and did not join them. He stood nearby, his dark eyes shadowed and down-turned.

Byakuya held still as the power of the Kuchiki elders rose around him. He bore the weight of it with little difficulty until they reached out, one by one in his direction, sending that power into his aching body. It felt like a boa constrictor, wrapping around him and tightening slowly…ever so slowly going from uncomfortable, to painful…to nearly unbearable. Sweat broke out on his forehead and he tightened his jaw to keep silent. He managed to keep his control, until the power of the elders increased again, and began to invade his mind.

His body convulsed in reaction to the hard, invasive feeling like ice shooting through his body from head to toe and back again, and if he hadn't been held in place on his feet by their power, he would have fallen. Like a sharp knife through butter, they slid into his thoughts, sinking down inside him and mercilessly studying, probing everything he remembered. He felt hot tears on his face at the intrusion…and thought that it must be worse than what had happened to his body. But the rape had somehow disappeared from his mind and only existed in a distant, unreal way. This torment was real…and it hurt in a way that was both indescribable and unbearable. As the minds of the councilors pressed in on his, Byakuya heard the sound of a pained cry. It was his voice…but it couldn't have been him. It was dishonorable to give in to pain in such a way.

The minds inside his were pressing hard against something. And every time their power swelled, his body convulsed and a cry erupted from his lips. He found he couldn't control anything anymore. His body sagged, but he was still held on his feet by their power. It seemed to go on forever…the power pushing hard against something inside him and his cries growing into screams of pain. Just as he thought he could bear it no more, the minds assailing his, suddenly removed themselves, and released him.

Byakuya dropped onto his hands and knees, gasping and shaking, the sweat and tears mixing and dripping from his face. He felt the weight of their disapproving eyes and knew he should stand, but he found his body refused to obey him.

"Kuchiki Byakuya," said the head councilor, "Have you forgotten how to conduct yourself in our presence?"

He struggled with his strained mind and slowly managed to bring himself to his feet. He did not move to brush away the offending moisture, but forced his pain wracked body to straighten and the shivering to stop. They were staring at him as though he had done something horribly wrong…and Ginrei's eyes looked at the floor.

"Your mind resists us," the head councilor said in a low voice, "We are not able to see your memory of these events, but we sense they are being protected from intrusion. You understand that if you do not allow us to see what happened, we cannot determine your guilt or innocence, and we will be forced to use the harsher means of purifying you. You have one more opportunity to allow us entrance into your mind, or we will have to risk hurting you to shatter the barrier. You must open your mind to us."

"But I have!" Byakuya insisted, "I withhold nothing, I swear it!"

"But your mind holds back the truth. It is an emotional thing, perhaps, rather than disobedience, but it will make your purification more painful. You must allow us in…"

"N-no!"

He didn't know where the words came from, but he knew he wasn't controlling himself anymore. His body shook heavily and his voice trembled.

"I c-cannot! If I cannot s-see, then how do I let you in?" he cried, "I c-cannot see!"

Their power rose around him again and this time, he couldn't hold still. His slender body threw itself against them, his own power rising up to hold them out as they pressed in on his beleaguered mind again.

"No!" he screamed, throwing himself against the tight circle of their bodies, "No! Stay out! Stay out! Stay…"

He found that his breathing had become too fast and his heart beat too furiously. Something broke inside and all he could do was scream. The group continued to press in on his mind…until he couldn't fight them anymore. Everything began to go black around him, and his body suddenly relaxed completely. All became silent again. He couldn't see or hear or feel them anymore. He wished that he could sigh in relief, but even that small comfort had disappeared into the blackness.

XXXXXXXXXX

Byakuya wasn't sure how long he laid, suspended in the darkness. But slowly, the blackness began to recede and he found that he could breathe again. The heavy pressure around him had abated and he could sense that he was lying in a bed. He kept his breathing calm and even and extended his senses, then reeled in shock as he realized that his spirit energy had been sealed away.

He opened his eyes and felt another jolt pass through him. He laid alone in a guarded cell in the Kuchiki Council Hall. His clothes had been removed and replaced with a simple white yukata. The kenseiken had been removed and his body left bare, except for that one basic covering. He started to sit up, then took a surprised breath as he realized that he was in restraints. Soft bands wrapped around wrists and ankles and another stretched across his body. He sensed also, a field of energy, placed carefully above him…to stop him if he managed to break his restraints.

It was as though they were afraid of him…

His mind spun at the thought of it. He couldn't imagine that powerful group of men having anything to fear from him. He couldn't stop himself from crumbling beneath their power. It had overwhelmed him. So why then did they bind him as though he might be a dangerous criminal?

He heard his cell door open and turned his head slightly to look. Ginrei stood in the doorway, looking down at him, but betraying no emotion. Byakuya felt his body quiver beneath the restraints.

"Grandfather?" he whispered.

Ginrei gave a deep sigh.

"The elders found a seal around your memories. It was a strong barrier that they could not break, not even once your mind had been overcome and could not have been resisting them. Byakuya, whoever was involved in the attack on you…he wields frightening amounts of power and we must know his identity."

"But I don't remember, Grandfather!" Byakuya nearly sobbed, "I have tried, but if all of them cannot force their way in, then how am I to know?"

"I have no answer for that," Ginrei said softly, "I am going to speak to Aizen Sousuke…to find out what he knows. He did report that you were missing from your suite this morning, so I doubt he will have the information we need. He may, however, be able to shed some light on the events prior to the attack on you. And we will carefully search your room there. If there is evidence…we will find it."

Byakuya swallowed hard and nodded.

"Until I return, and your guilt or innocence is established, you will remain here and under guard. Rest quietly. Gather your strength. You will need it."

Byakuya said nothing, but only watched in silence as Ginrei left the room and the cell door clanked shut behind him.

_I don't understand. They act as though this was my fault...as though I acted inappropriately. I feel their heartless disapproval and it hurts more than anything my attacker did to me. And these people are my family._

_Do I mean nothing to them?_

_Am I invisible and nothing but a reflection of their ideals?_

_Why am I here?_

_Why did this happen?_

_Who would do such a thing to me?_

_Who would hate me so much?_

_Who?_


	4. The Seeds of Destruction

**Chapter 4: The Seeds of Destruction**

**XXXXXXXXXX**

_**I sank beneath waves of salty tears. I offered up my body to be cleansed, my mind to be cleared and my heart to be mended. They could make my clothing and my skin clean again. And you could make me forget what was done to me. But my heart still knows the truth.**_

XXXXXXXXXX

Aizen Sousuke felt the approach of Kuchiki Ginrei and a small smile crept onto his lips. He forced it away as the Kuchiki clan leader knocked on the door to his suite and was led inside by Gin. He waited as Gin appeared in his doorway and announced the clan leader's arrival, then followed him out to meet, not just Ginrei, but a group of Kuchiki elders as well.

"Kuchiki taicho…I am not surprised to see you, of course. I was distressed upon hearing that Byakuya had somehow been injured…"

"We require access to this penthouse and to anyone who had contact with my grandson while he was here," Ginrei said solemnly.

"Byakuya arrived with me and went directly to his room to settle in. Gin attended him briefly to bring him up to date on our mission and then he retired for the night. He was only ever in this entry room and his own…"

"We will require access to the entire suite. You may leave or stay, of course," Ginrei said firmly, "but the room and your fukutaicho must be examined."

"I understand," the fifth division taicho said quietly, "and I will be in my office if you need anything. Gin, you will tell them anything you remember that might be useful to them."

Aizen returned to the small office and sat down at the desk. As the Kuchiki elders turned towards Byakuya's room, he invoked the power of Kyoka Suigetsu and left an image of himself working at his desk. He slipped out of the office and entered what had been Byakuya's room. He watched with great interest as the elders searched the room carefully for physical and reiatsu traces. He could have laughed as the nobles' faces paled upon finding the physical markers of a terrible assault.

"Ginrei-dono," said the shocked voice of the head elder, "something of great violence happened here…"

"There are blood, semen and reiatsu traces everywhere," added Kuchiki Fumio in a low, sad voice, "No effort was made to conceal the attack…only the identities of the attackers."

"Attackers?" said Ginrei in a dread whisper.

"Hai," Fumio went on, "The first bound his wrists and ankles to the bed and assaulted him from behind. The blood is the heir's, but the semen and reiatsu are undoubtedly that of his primary attacker. The other left semen and reiatsu traces on the upper portion of the bed…where the heir's head would have been. There is additional blood evidence that proves that the heir was struggling. He was forced…and he fought his attackers. The heir's semen is also present, but the reiatsu around it is clearly disturbed. This proves the heir's claim that what happened was non-consensual."

Ginrei swallowed hard and closed his eyes against the words. He nodded silently.

"Arigato," he said softly, "Although it is distressing to think of my grandson being so viciously assaulted, it is a relief to have him cleared in the council's eyes."

"There is no doubt that he was forced," Fumio went on, "and in addition, so much power was poured into concealing the attackers that it is clear that the resistance we met with when we attempted to penetrate the barrier in the heir's mind was not of his own making. Whoever did this was frighteningly powerful, Ginrei-dono."

Ginrei nodded to show he was still listening, but the truth of what had happened to Byakuya tore at his insides. Even worse were the echoes of the boy's tormented screams as the councilors compounded his agony by forcing themselves into his mind. A shiver went through him. His heart ached at the thought of Byakuya lying in the council hall cell, restrained like a dangerous criminal and alone in his misery. He promised himself that as soon as the investigation was concluded, he would return to the council hall and free Byakuya himself. And after his purification, he would not let the boy leave his side again…

Aizen watched calmly as the investigation continued and as the councilors began to question Gin. Content that they would gain no new information from his subordinate, he left the penthouse and passed back into the Seireitei. He moved, unseen, through the quiet streets until he came to the Kuchiki council hall. He climbed the steps and walked past the unseeing guards, down the hallways and through the locked doors into the cellblock. It was here that he sensed Byakuya was being held.

He stood, gazing down at the lovely slender body that was covered only with a light yukata. He thought briefly of killing the youth to send a message to the stuffy councilors, but as he moved forward, it suddenly occurred to him how the nobles had treated him. As surely as he had bound Byakuya and assaulted his body, these nobles had attacked his mind. He could feel what had been done to the youth…and he read the damage in the dark, beautiful eyes. Here now was one among the nobles who might understand…here was one made different than the rest. And suddenly, Aizen Sousuke did not want to kill this noble. He wanted, instead, to use him.

The very sight of the restrained heir sent a powerful thrill through him. He hardened as he remembered how wonderfully tight the youth was, how soft his skin felt and how much he enjoyed the sweet touches of sakura on his senses. As much as he wanted to toy with the nobles, he found himself wanting Byakuya. His lips curved upward as a wicked plan entered his mind.

He kept himself wrapped in illusions and extended the illusion so that the guards only saw Byakuya lying quietly on the cot in his cell. They didn't see when the fifth division taicho revealed himself to the restrained heir…and they couldn't hear his exclamation of dismay as it registered who was there with him.

"Aizen taicho? Why are you here?"

Aizen smiled.

"Don't you remember?" he said, slowly releasing the youth from the hypnotic block that had protected him from the truth, "I am the one they are seeking…the one who raped you. Do you remember now…Byakuya?"

The heir's eyes widened as the truth fell over his mind and he realized why Aizen had come. He started to fight the restraints and screamed for the guards, but Aizen's power wrapped itself around him, freezing him in place and he was stunned to see that his words did not rouse the guards.

"You see," Aizen said, sitting down beside him and whispering into his ear, "My Kyoka Suigetsu controls what they perceive. They only see you lying quietly here. They do not hear your screams."

"What do you want from me?" Byakuya asked, "Why do you do this?"

"It's simple, really," Aizen confessed calmly, "I have a plan to destroy them all…and it is going to be easy…too easy. The one thing standing in my way…is you."

"What do you mean?" Byakuya asked, shivering, "I am helpless against you. I am restrained and my powers are sealed away. I can't stop you…or kill you. How am I standing in your way?"

Aizen touched his face lightly.

"I desire you."

"I don't understand…"

"Of course you do. You are sinfully beautiful, Byakuya…and deliciously powerful. I tasted that beauty, that power but once…and I cannot forget. I want to possess it. I want to possess you. But if I take you from them now, you will be a weakness they can use. I have to wait, you see. And once I am ready to bring down the king and his noble houses, then I will bring you to my side, Byakuya. And when the king lies dead at my feet, you and I will seat ourselves on the thrones in the spirit king's palace…and we will preside over a much different world."

"You're insane!" Byakuya breathed, wide-eyed, "I will never join you…never!"

Aizen smiled.

"You think not?" he said softly, "In case it eluded you…just how powerful I am, why don't you just remember how I am controlling their perceptions. I could take you from this cell and they would never even know you were gone…"

"No one has such power," spat Byakuya, "and I am willing to bet that your illusions, however good they are, have weaknesses."

"You see there? You are a bright young man and I am certain that when I am king that you will use your intelligence to assist me in making the three worlds better than they are now."

"What?" Byakuya said, dismayed, "Why would you think I would help you? You obviously hate the noble families. Otherwise, you wouldn't be plotting against them…"

Aizen stroked his face gently.

"I despise the noble families. I despise the spirit king. But when I look at you, Byakuya, I can't despise you as I despise them. When I look at you, I see one as wronged by them as I have been. I see one who needs to see our king overthrown and the noble families brought down as much as I do. Think, Byakuya, think about what they did to you. You were already in pain…tormented. And they didn't comfort you. No, they only hurt you more. You should hate them for that. Don't you hate them?"

"They are my family. They are only trying to find the truth," Byakuya said softly, his voice shaking.

"But don't you think," Aizen said, leaning closer, "that your family's first instinct should have been protective? Shouldn't they have seen to your needs first and then pursued the one who hurt you?"

"I was healed," Byakuya said softly, "And they are, as we speak, seeking the one who hurt me."

"I was there," Aizen whispered in his ear, "I know what they were about. Byakuya, they were verifying your story. They will not find anything that will lead them to me. And what will they do upon their return?"

"They will purify me."

Aizen shook his head sadly.

"Don't you see…even that is not about you. It is not done to comfort you. It is not done to heal your hurts or to find the one who did this to you. It is to protect their honor…to remove a disgrace. Byakuya…you must see the wrong in that…"

"Leave me alone…" Byakuya whispered, nearly sobbing, "Get away from me!"

Aizen nodded.

"I will go, but before I do, let me offer you the comfort you need."

"No…"

"Let me show you how a true family would heal you…"

"Don't…"

He released the restraints and pulled the youth into a warm embrace, using the power of his zanpakuto to hold just enough power over the youth to keep him from breaking free.

"I won't hurt you. Don't struggle. Let me hold you, Byakuya, because you need to be held."

Realizing that the elder shinigami still held power over him, Byakuya calmed and allowed Aizen to hold him. The fifth division taicho wrapped one arm around his back, curling a hand around his slim waist, and brought the other hand gently to his face.

"You see," he said quietly, "It is not wrong to allow yourself to receive comfort, Byakuya. As one who has been deeply hurt, this is what you need. Surely, you feel the comfort in being held?"

The youth closed his eyes and shivered softly.

"All I feel is the coldness of the man who damaged me…the one who dishonored me…the one who left me disgraced and unable to remember."

Aizen slipped his fingers into the long black strands of silken hair. His eyes found Byakuya's and froze him in place.

"I was cold. I did damage you. But when I took you, I gave more of myself than I meant to. I connected more strongly with you than I intended to. And I found more than should have been there. You were supposed to be heartless…cold…dead inside like the rest of them. But instead, your body was warm and alive, your heart vulnerable, your mind terribly innocent. I am not naïve enough to believe in love at first sight, but I do believe that we are meant to be something to each other. So…I will take your memory of this so that you will not give me away…and when the time is right, I will be back for you."

"And it does not matter to you that I despise you? That I would rather die than have you touch me again?" Byakuya asked.

"Don't you understand, little noble? I will destroy them. The king and your noble houses will fall…and you will be mine. What will you feel then? What will you feel when the bonds they have placed on you shatter…and because of me, your heart is finally freed?"

He met the dark gray eyes meaningfully.

"So…I will trade one set of bonds for another? What do you think I will feel?" Byakuya asked, "You are not naïve enough to believe in love at first sight. I am not naïve enough to believe the man who raped me will offer me anything resembling freedom. You dangle it in front of me, but you will never yield it to me. And know this, Aizen taicho…though you may corrupt my body and invade and control my mind, my heart is safe from you. You may turn me in your direction, but I will _never_ love you."

"You think not, little noble? You think you can resist me? Then do your best. Try to resist me."

"What will you do now, Aizen taicho? Take my body? Leave me bereft of memory? You still come no closer. I will never long for you."

"I can make you look at me with love in your eyes and swear your undying affection. I can keep your body at my side and indulge it in nightly pleasures. I can shower you with my affection and make you smile and plead for more."

"But beneath the lies that leave my lips at your command, you will feel the resistance…because though you take my body and my mind and use them to your heart's content, you will never reach mine. It is ever safe from you and beyond your reach."

Anger burned inside Aizen…anger that brought back the desire to kill the noble brat. It was what he should have done in the first place. He leaned forward and brought his blade to the soft, pale throat. Byakuya laid quietly in his arms, no fear in his eyes. A chill went through Aizen when he read what looked to him to be relief.

"Why do you look at me like this?" he asked softly, still holding his blade ready.

"I am content to die. You have dishonored me. I am no longer fit to stand among them. And no matter what they do to erase the stain from my body and mind, my heart is unreachable, even to them. They will not be able to take the mark from my heart…and I cannot bear the weight of it. Killing me is a useless afterthought, Aizen Sousuke. You have already destroyed me. Do as you will, then. I will not resist."

Aizen stared into the youth's dark eyes for a moment longer. Footsteps sounded in the hallway and Aizen felt Ginrei's reiatsu approaching. He leaned forward and pressed his lips to the noble heir's, then used his power to make Byakuya sleep. He carefully erased all memory of his visit from the youth's mind, then set him back in the restraints and ended the illusion around Byakuya.

He watched as Ginrei entered the room…as he stood for a moment, gazing down at Byakuya, then released the restraints and lifted the sleeping youth into his arms.

"We are going home," he assured the young heir, "I will see to it that your purification is as painless as possible…and I will not let anything like this happen to you again."

Aizen sighed.

It would be a long wait then…once the nobles banded around him. But he was in for a long wait anyway. The plans would take many years to carry out. And as things moved forward, Ginrei's guard would lower again. And even if it didn't, eventually he would leave and turn things over to his grandson. Aizen Sousuke was patient. He knew well that waiting for that time didn't have to be a bad thing.


	5. Promotion

Chapter 5: Promotion

XXXXXXXXXX

Some things are more important than memory. Wounds of the body, mind and heart may heal, but there are scars left behind. You look and you see my beauty, but I see only dark, ruined flesh, a mind tormented with fear and a heart in tatters.

XXXXXXXXXX

Ginrei led Byakuya past the still-celebrating guests and into the small training room that had been his until this moment. He looked back at his fully-grown grandson and smiled at the lovely sight of him, his hair delicately placed in the confines of the kenseiken and the ginpaku kazahana no uzuginu that had been his gift wound just so around the pale, seemly throat. His dark, gray eyes were focused and serious as he lowered himself to his knees and bowed his head.

"Grandfather…" he said, quietly.

Ginrei knew that Byakuya was not looking forward to this farewell. As ready as he was for leadership, there were still rough edges to the young man that would have to be worn away with time and experience. And leading the Kuchiki Clan, and soon, the sixth division, would accomplish that soon enough.

"Byakuya…your promotion ceremony today brought our family great pride. You are the image of what a young, noble lord should be. You have grown out of your disobedience and have settled into the responsibilities your father would have taken on, had he survived. You take these things on at quite a youthful age and we must say our goodbyes now, though I know you do not feel ready. But a position in the Royal Guard awaits me and I look forward to serving our king."

"You make our family proud as well, Grandfather. As much as I shall miss you, I will know you continue to honor king and family with your service. I am content."

"Good," said Ginrei, yielding him a rare smile, "Then I shall take my leave of you with a calm and peaceful heart."

Their eyes met warmly for a moment and Byakuya smiled and nodded.

"I must, however leave you with a final warning. Maintain vigilance always. There will be disturbers of the peace, the ones who break the rules and cause dissent. They would seek to ensnare other powerful ones like yourself to drag along with them. Remember that, as a noble clan, we serve our king within his laws and dictates…and we guide ourselves in our piety through the rules and mores of our clan. Follow the rules and laws closely and you will not lose your way."

"Hai, Grandfather."

"And one more thing," Ginrei went on, his expression darkening, "be wary of Aizen Sousuke."

"The fifth division taicho?"

"Hai. He appears quiet and peaceful on the outside, but I have long sensed something beneath it that does not sit well with me. You cannot avoid interaction, now that you lead our house and soon will lead the sixth division, but you can certainly confine your interactions to those necessary for your military association."

"But you invited him here tonight."

"I invited all of the taichos. It would have been a direct insult to have left him out. Simply put, by our standards, I was compelled to include him, rather than to insult him publicly. And I will caution you as well to avoid interaction with him, but to also avoid direct insult. He is much like a curled snake, Byakuya. Best to leave him alone and work your way around him carefully."

Byakuya nodded.

"I hear the wisdom in your message and I will see that it is done as you wish," he answered calmly.

"Then it is time for me to go, Byakuya. Farewell…and keep to your promises. I look forward to the day when you shall join me in the spirit dimension and we shall fight side-by-side once more."

"Goodbye, Grandfather," Byakuya breathed as the old man disappeared through the shining doorway.

He watched as the light faded, then rose and studied the place where the door had been. He thought that, perhaps, he should return to the party, but suddenly didn't feel inclined for company. He turned instead, and walked slowly through the gardens, then out the open gate and along the moonlit forest path. It was a way he had gone many times before, grown old, familiar and trusted. He paid his footsteps little mind as he headed for the sakura trees above the waterfall.

He reached them several long minutes later and stood quietly beneath the widespread branches, his eyes fixed on the large, blue tinted moon that filled the sky overhead. He sank into its peaceful light, making himself content with the newfound silence around him, telling himself that he would grow used to the space in his heart where Ginrei used to be…would gradually fill the silence with other voices…perhaps, if he was successful in finding Hisana's sister, the girl's voice would console him in his loneliness.

But then…he hardly dared to look at anything that reminded him of Hisana…

And looking on her younger sister day after day would only bring back the too-recent pain of losing Hisana…the shiver of being on the receiving end of the clan's disapproval. No, he dared not approach too closely, and would not keep her about, once found, but would see her placed in a squad and sent to train. Having her so close would be too much. He chose, instead to bear his solitude quietly.

"Byakuya," said a soft voice, startling him out of his reverie.

He turned and locked eyes with the man his grandfather had warned him about.

"Aizen Sousuke," he said calmly, "Have you become lost?"

Byakuya looked into the other's smiling expression and he felt something flash in his mind.

"_He hardly lets you out of his sight, right?"_

Byakuya flinched.

"No," said Aizen, still smiling at him, "I haven't become lost. I saw you leave with Ginrei and then leave the gardens alone. I thought to have your company for a while."

"_That kiss you gave Gin was a dangerous thing…a kiss that could bring you more trouble than you know. Because, you see…Gin belongs to me. No one touches him but me. His heart, his body and soul are mine. Do you understand?"_

"_Hai, Aizen taicho…b-but…"_

"_When someone touches Gin," Aizen said, slipping out of his clothes, "there is a price to be paid. And since you have touched him, you must deal with me."_

"N-no…"

Byakuya inhaled sharply and Aizen looked up at him questioningly.

"Byakuya, are you all right?" he asked, sounding concerned.

He furrowed his brow, trying to figure out where it was that he had heard Aizen speak to him that way. He didn't remember…he couldn't remember when it had ever happened. It had the feel of a dream…or perhaps a nightmare.

"Byakuya…"

The noble's face paled as the memory swelled and sharpened in his mind. He could feel Aizen's face close to his…his hands on bared skin…tongue thrusting deeply inside his mouth…fingers touching him where no one else had ever dared.

And he hadn't remembered…

Something had stolen his memory…

Something…or someone…

"You…" he whispered, his face going even more pale.

"Yes…" Aizen admitted.

Byakuya realized suddenly that Aizen had stepped forward and he tried to step back, only to encounter the tree behind him. The fifth division taicho's hand caught his face and came closer.

"You're blushing," he said, leaning forward, "You are a beautiful young man, Byakuya. You are everything I hoped you would be. Perfect."

His mouth closed over the stunned noble's and Byakuya felt his legs weaken beneath him. Shock flooded his body and he flash stepped free. He reappeared at the edge of the cliff, beside the waterfall. Aizen watched him curiously and waited for him to say something. Byakuya remembered that he had been warned about this man. Aizen Sousuke was dangerous and must be avoided. And given what he remembered…how the man had taken him to the hotel in the living world to deprive him of his innocence, he found his anger boiling up inside.

"Leave me alone," he gasped, trying to flash step past.

A hand caught his arm and a moment later, the two were tumbling to the ground together. It didn't hurt to fall, but he was left breathless for a moment, and then Aizen's mouth found his again and his head spun. He pushed against the other's chest forcefully, but couldn't budge him. Aizen seemed unnaturally strong. A hand found his wrists and locked them in a strong, binding kido above his head. Then Aizen's hands roamed everywhere, loosening his clothes and slipping beneath them, touching him…finding his length and teasing it with slow, languid strokes. He arched his body and tried to twist free, but moving so only brought him into more intimate contact with the body above his. He shook with rage as the hand around him stroked him harder and faster. He noticed suddenly that Aizen's clothes were being loosened and moved aside and he was instantly shocked into resistance. He threw his weight against the kido holding his hands and shattered it. His face darkened with fury, he tore himself free and rolled to his feet. He stood with his chest heaving, his heart racing wildly. Aizen climbed to his feet and stood opposite the noble, observing him carefully.

"How dare you touch me…you…you…"

He stopped, his breath catching.

"You…peasant! Get out of here!"

He didn't wait to see if Aizen obeyed the order, but turned back and flash stepped all of the way back to the manor. He stopped at the gate, realizing suddenly that his clothing was in disarray. He stood in the cold darkness, setting himself back in order and realizing suddenly that his ginpaku kazahana no uzuginu was gone. He swallowed hard, looking back the way he had come, but didn't dare go back for it. He nearly jumped out of his skin when a flash step sounded beside him and the soft material dropped suddenly around his shoulders.

"You forgot something," Aizen said softly in his ear.

Byakuya grabbed the scarf and wound it into place, then took a breath and turned back to Aizen.

"You were invited to my home as a guest, but you have acted dishonorably. And we both know that this is not the first time, either! I want you to leave, Aizen Sousuke. Leave and don't come back!"

The older shinigami's eyes darkened.

"So…you truly do hate me for what happened. Or maybe it isn't even that. Maybe it's as you said…I'm a peasant. I shouldn't dare to touch such a pristine, angelic body like yours…I might dirty it."

"My soul has already been stained by you. Just…go, Aizen Sousuke," Byakuya said, hating the desperation in his tone.

He breathed a sigh of relief as the elder shinigami merely nodded and turned away. He stopped just inside the gate and looked back at Byakuya with malevolence that sent chills through him.

"You seem to think like the rest of them now. Back then, I thought you were different. That's why I wanted you. But it was a deception. You are just like the rest of them. And someday, you will pay for that…"

He turned and disappeared, leaving Byakuya shaken and alone. He gathered himself and returned to the party, where he joined the staff and wished his guests a good night. And after the last was gone, he returned to his room…the room that had been Ginrei's before his departure. He waited in the dressing area as his servant undressed him, then wrapped a towel around his waist and stepped into the bathroom.

"You are dismissed," he said to his attendant, then watched as the youth bowed and left, and locked the door behind him.

He stood under the hot rush of water, his mind spinning helplessly. He couldn't rid himself of the feel of Aizen's mouth on his…the feel of those hands slipping beneath his clothes and stroking him so forcefully. And now that he remembered the rape, he couldn't stop the flow of memory, the ache and sting of the knowledge of what had been done to him. It had been too many years and there was no remaining evidence, so in truth, there was nothing he could do…which explained why Aizen had been so casual about admitting it. The man's lack of remorse made it even worse. The hurt burst out of him in a choked sob. It ran down his face in streams as he held himself silent and let the tears fall. He hadn't known another person could cause him this kind of pain.

And with Ginrei no longer there to shield him, he felt frighteningly vulnerable. He was no longer a child, but he was wary of Aizen. Ginrei had been right to warn him…and he hadn't even known that Aizen was the one who attacked him. But what could he do? He had no proof the man was other than what he said. The only thing he could do was to keep his distance. But he suspected that with Ginrei gone, the fifth division taicho would certainly press his advantage.

It was only a matter of time…

XXXXXXXXXX

(three months later)

Byakuya stood quietly with his relatives, stunned to be looking into a face that looked painfully like Hisana's and wondering how in kami's name he could bear to see his wife's wishes through. It had been hard enough to say goodbye, but to be faced with the prospect of looking at this one who looked so like her…day after day…seemed too painful even to consider. Luckily, the girl was talented, so he was free to have her graduated early and assigned to a squad. It was troubling to him that she was a little too talented and likely to earn a seat, but he was in a position to get in the way of that. Yes, his new position as taicho of the sixth division would give him that influence. And this girl, he decided, would not face the dangers of being a seated officer. He had pledged to keep her safe, and he wasn't above using his influence to do so. He had not been in a position to save his parents or his wife, but he would be damned if he would lose this last reminder of Hisana without a fight…

But he wondered just how much fight he had left. His mother had died having him, so he hadn't been close to her, but he had been close to Soujun, and had worried about his gentle father going off to fight the hollows. He remembered all too well, the helplessness he felt when his father was fatally injured…when he sat at Soujun's side and held his hand as the life dwindled and faded. It had been much the same with Hisana. But it wouldn't, he decided, be like that this time. This girl would be protected with all of his power and influence. He fought down the fear that once again, it might not be enough. It had to be. He had given his word.

He calmly delivered his offer to take her into the Kuchiki family, then left the girl to consider things. His steps felt heavy as he neared the door, and he was dimly aware of someone standing off to the side and staring…a shaken reiatsu touching his…then the feeling of something happening inside him. It wasn't painful, but the intensity of it was frightening. He forced himself to continue moving forward, but felt something descend on him. For a moment, he couldn't breathe. He forced himself to wear a calm countenance as he returned to the manor, but everything burst apart when he arrived home and found a hell butterfly waiting for him.

The Head Elder wanted to see him…and he sensed that what was happening was not a good thing. He knew better than to delay, but changed clothes and went immediately to the Kuchiki Council Hall. He shivered softly as he passed through the entry…remembering, as he always did, the time he had been imprisoned there for the duration of the purification ritual. They had said he was not a prisoner…but the truth had been quite obvious. And his experience with the calm brutality of the elders had left him wary of them. Even as Head of Household, he had to be cautious around them. He could probably overcome any one of the elders, but not all of them, which was why when it was an unpleasant thing, they always met him as a group. And when he entered the council chamber, it was the group of them that waited.

He didn't stop to wonder what unpleasantness they had in store for him. He straightened his back and kept his features calm as he took his place at the head of the table.

"Byakuya-sama," said the head councilor, "we apologize for calling you here so unexpectedly…but it was necessary. We have had a revelation and feel compelled to warn you."

Byakuya nodded.

"What is it that you have learned?" he asked softly.

"A firestorm approaches," said the head elder, "one that threatens to destroy our house…a dark presence that is somehow connected to you. It will come to you through the stain that corrupted you and left you unable to be completely purified. If you allow yourself to fall to the same evil again, our house will fall with you…but there is hope. Today, we sensed the presence of the Seirei-Joumae, the Spirit-Lock. You have come into contact with someone who can remove the stain from your soul and assist you in protecting the future of our house."

"I don't understand," Byakuya said, a wave of confusion sweeping over him, "The Seirei-Joumae is a profound meeting of souls. Don't you think that if I had met my soul mate, that I would have known?"

The head elder looked at him meaningfully.

"We think it may have been the girl."

Byakuya's eyes flared and his reiatsu turned dark around him.

"No," he said furiously, "that is not possible. And I would appreciate that in the future you keep your dark predictions to yourselves. Do not call me here to bear witness to your superstitious trifles. I am leaving. Do not dare to call me here to suggest any such thing again!"

He turned and swept out of the room, leaving them staring after them. His fury followed him all of the way back to the manor. He wanted to shove away the idea. There was no way in hell that he would be paired with his wife's sister. It had to be a mistake! Perhaps, he thought, there was someone else present…someone else who it could be. But the only people who had been in that room were his own family, the girl…and someone he had passed without seeing on his way out.

Tall…

Red haired…

And male…

That thought was nearly as chilling as the thought of being forced to wed Hisana's sister. He chose, instead, to force the thoughts away and take a long walk. But even though he walked until well after midnight, the emotion still swelled around him.

There was a threat to his house. And it would come by way of Aizen Sousuke. The council still did not know he had been the one. No one but Byakuya, Aizen and Gin knew. And he wasn't eager to share the information. With no evidence, he could hardly subject the fifth division taicho to the accusation. All that would result from making it public would be intense scrutiny of everyone involved and a lot of speculation that could prove more painful than quietly bearing the truth.

But he knew he couldn't just brush off the words of the elders. Because the truth of the Spirit-Lock was that if he failed to complete the connection with his soul mate, then his soul would be captured and bonded to the one that had stained it.

He would then belong to Aizen Sousuke.

And the Kuchiki house would fall into ruin…


	6. A Meeting of Souls

**Chapter 6: A Meeting of Souls**

**XXXXXXXXXX**

_**I knew you existed, but never thought to find you in this way. I turned a page and your face appeared before me. I wasn't ready to look, but fate had decided. I touched the image on paper and I wondered…what it would be like to be face to face with you. So with careful feet, I stepped forward and closed the distance between us.**_

**XXXXXXXXXX**

Byakuya sighed softly and turned his eyes to the file on his desk. It was a bother, really, looking at the set of profiles, trying to find the best candidate. It was something that he probably could have left to his third seat. He would probably have done as well at deciding. He wondered, though, at the way the decision seemed to darken the air around him. He should have considered himself lucky. He hadn't had a choice coming into the position of Squad Six taicho. The fukutaicho was chosen at the same time he left the position to advance to taicho. Now it was in his own hands.

But how should he choose who he should trust to act as his right hand?

His last fukutaicho had been calm and efficient, but there had never been much bonding between them. He gave the orders and his fukutaicho saw them through. The fukutaicho saw to the day-to-day running of the division so that the taicho could focus on the larger picture…the more expansive goals to be set for them. He had never depended on the man when they were involved in battle. He had been careful to see that he did not need to. Trust was not something to be given lightly. And he would rather his back be unguarded than to have it guarded by one he felt no trust for.

But trust was something he had lost a long time before…

He pushed away the image of Aizen Sousuke. He didn't want to think about the fifth division taicho…not at all. He kept Aizen at a distance and so far, the man seemed to be content with that. He knew it wouldn't last forever. Despite having called the prediction superstitious, Byakuya knew that the danger Aizen presented to the Kuchiki clan was real. There just wasn't anything he could do about it until he found his soul mate…and now wasn't the time for that. What he needed now was not a soul mate, but a fukutaicho.

He sighed and sifted through the pages, scanning the vital statistics, the abilities and records of performance. He set aside a few who held the most promise as he went, marveling at how many choices there were. It wasn't terribly surprising. The sixth division was considered one of the strongest squads. Built up and primed by Kuchiki Ginrei before his departure, his group had the best battle record and the best reputation.

However, Byakuya still felt that the division's success rested on the underpinnings set in place by his grandfather. This choice was the first of great importance that he would make…so there was pressure to choose wisely.

He loosed another sigh and ran his hands over his face. As he did, a soft rush of breeze came in through the open window and scattered the pages, sending them flying in all directions. Only three were left in front of him. And one of them made him catch his breath in surprise.

He remembered now…the day nearly forty years before, when he had gone to the shinigami academy to ask Rukia to join his family. It was the same young man. He was sure of it. He remembered as well how the elders had called him in to warn him that the Seirei-Joumae was activated. He had almost been able to forget. But now it came back to him and a strong feeling of fate fell over him. He scanned the candidate's qualifications.

"Powerful, impressive shikai, responds well to direction, liked by his peers and determined to improve."

His kido skills were somewhat lacking, but that was something that proper training could cure. He was best working in groups and was fiercely loyal…good qualities. Byakuya bit his lower lip and stared down at the profile, feeling a sense of rightness about him. He took his time picking up the other profiles and slipping them back into the file. He left the one sitting on his desk and set the others aside. He didn't want to be bonded to Rukia. And he knew that someone he had met that day would be the one. This young man, then, was the only other possibility.

"Abarai Renji," he whispered, "my soul mate…"

He summoned a hell butterfly and spoke his message, then sent it winging away. He watched it disappear out the window and turned back to his work, awaiting the moment that they would meet.

XXXXXXXXXX

Byakuya heard the door open and looked up as Abarai Renji entered the office and was greeted by the third seat. He watched out of the corner of his eye as the third seat cheerfully pointed out his desk, the official outline of his duties, the posting boards, fukutaicho's quarters, restrooms and barracks. They returned from their tour and approached him, bowing deeply.

"Kuchiki taicho, I have shown Abarai fukutaicho everything as you asked."

"Arigato, you may leave us, Third Seat, Saito."

The third seat bowed again and fled, leaving Byakuya and Renji alone in the office. Byakuya noticed right away the disturbed reiatsu, the sweat breaking out on the young man's forehead, golden tanned skin marked with jet black tattoos, a high ponytail barely restraining thick red hair, trembling hands he kept in his lap to hide them…wide, dark red-brown eyes, full, sensuous lips, a shihakusho in need of a good tailor, large, rough looking hands, strong arms, powerful legs and an attractive, masculine aura and scent.

He tried to imagine this young man as anything more than his new fukutaicho and failed completely. He shivered inside at the thought of such rough hands touching him, of those large, colorful lips taking his, of the tall, lanky body wrapping around him.

"Impossible…"

"Sir?" Renji said, making him realize that he had uttered the word aloud.

"Nothing," he went on, feeling a light flush on his cheeks, "Abarai Renji, I trust you will spend the bulk of the day making yourself familiar with the duties outlined in the file on your desk. Any questions may be directed to Third Seat Saito Eri. If she is not available, the fourth seat will assist you. Are there any questions before you begin?" he asked, not really expecting that there would be.

He was taken by surprise when Renji cleared his throat softly, and forced his eyes to meet Byakuya's.

"Would you like some tea, Kuchiki taicho?" he asked, a slight tremor in his voice.

"Gomen nasai, what did you ask me?" he said, startled into meeting the friendly red-brown eyes again.

Friendly, he decided…but there was something more aggressive beneath them…

"I was told that Kuchiki taicho is fond of green tea…and takes it several times a day…made to his instructions…which I made it my business to learn before coming here."

"I see," Byakuya said, careful not to betray any emotion, "Yes, tea would be good, Abarai fukutaicho…arigato."

The young man rose and bowed, then disappeared down the hallway, looking as though he had done it a thousand times. Byakuya shook his head softly and went back to work. He tried to concentrate, but found himself distracted by thoughts of the tall, red haired shinigami who was down the hall, making his tea. He wasn't sure what he had expected in the way of a soul mate, but found himself stymied at the thought of this rough looking commoner from the Rukongai touching him intimately. He found himself shaking softly and his heart pounding oddly as he tried to force the thought away.

"Here's your tea, Taicho," Renji said, startling him again.

He caught his breath and felt a soft jolt in his abdomen as the tea was set in his hand and Renji's calloused fingers brushed lightly against his. He swallowed hard and forced his expression to calm as he sipped at the tea, then locked eyes with the one who had made it. Renji looked at him expectantly. Byakuya nodded, unsmiling and turned back to his work. He expected that the redhead would leave him and begin working, but a moment later, the rough voice assailed him again.

"Does it taste the way you prefer it, Taicho?" he asked.

Byakuya lifted his eyes and met the brown ones calmly.

"It was well made," he said softly, "but you will want to make sure that next time your hand does not shake while you are portioning the tea leaves."

Renji nodded.

"Yes sir!" he said.

Byakuya didn't miss the swell of disturbed reiatsu as he turned away. He wasn't sure if it was agitation or confusion. He shook off the question and addressed the file in his hand. He had been studying its contents for several minutes when Renji's voice sounded again.

"Taicho?"

He wondered if he should be annoyed by the fact that he had dropped the noble surname…

"Yes, Renji," he said calmly.

"How did you know it was because my hand shook?" the young man asked, looking almost tormented by the question.

Byakuya was taken aback that something so innocuous as his simple comment could rile the young man so. He seemed terribly volatile…not the best quality in a romantic partner…

He set down the papers he was holding and looked into the widened red-brown eyes dispassionately.

"It was fairly obvious upon your arrival…from the tremor in your voice and the shaking in your body that you were, for some reason, out of sorts. And although the tea was well within an acceptable range of strength, it lay on the stronger end…therefore meaning that a greater amount had been added than perhaps you meant to. I did indicate that it met with my expectations. I certainly would have indicated if it did not. Now, is there anything else?" he asked, blinking at the 'deer in the headlights' look his fukutaicho was giving him.

"Uh…no, Taicho…no…" he said, turning back to his work.

Byakuya's lips twitched slightly as he returned to work. The red haired man was as productive as one would expect a proper fukutaicho to be. He _did_ have truly appalling handwriting, but then, being from the Rukongai might well have affected his learning of handwriting, so he chose not to make an issue of it. He thought he might need to do something about the fact that Renji could hardly sit still for a minute without fidgeting, that he shook like a leaf whenever Byakuya looked at him the wrong way or raised his reiatsu, but where this skittishness would have annoyed Byakuya in someone else, it just seemed attractive in Renji.

He stopped himself suddenly.

He _did _like Renji then. And liking him in general was a good beginning, if indeed, this was his soul mate. Yet, he wondered as he watched Renji fidget, waiting for the moment he would be dismissed…would Renji return the feeling?

He sighed softly and returned to his work. Renji continued to work and fidget, growing more and more restless as the afternoon turned to evening. Still, he remained at his desk, working steadily until Byakuya looked up at him and quietly dismissed him for the day. He was gone so quickly, Byakuya sat for some time after, wondering if he had done something wrong…or if his company was not enjoyable. He could see where someone like Renji would not find him very interesting at all. Byakuya wondered at himself for having spent most of the day thinking about Renji. He still wasn't convinced Renji could actually be his soul mate. How could he be? They were worlds apart in so many ways. And Renji had practically busted the door down getting out of the office at the end of the day.

Byakuya sighed and decided to take a walk to clear his head. He left the office and walked down the block, turning in the direction of a park he liked to visit. As he passed by the bar on the way there, he heard Renji's voice and paused.

"So what's he like, Renj?" a youthful voice asked.

"I heard he could scare the paint off the damned walls!"

"Oh! Oh!" said another, "And I heard that his last fukutaicho…went insane and had to be institutionalized"

"Aw, shut up, he's not that bad," Renji laughed, "He's quiet…though he does scare the shit out of me."

"I heard he made his last fukutaicho give him blow jobs whenever he made a mistake…and that he's into S & M."

"Shut the hell up," said Renji, "I told you, he's quiet…not like that."

"Yeah, just wait until you make a mistake. He'll probably take you into his quarters and make you his uke."

"Fuck off," Renji muttered, "You're drunk off your ass! Get outta here before they kick you out!"

There was a short pause.

"He may be scary as hell, but he's the best…and I intend to learn everything I can about him. If you want to surpass someone, that's what you have to do. And I won't stop until I can snap that zanpakuto of his in two."

"Ooh, that sounds personal! What did he do to you, Renj?"

"It _is _personal so fuck off! The only ones who need to know are Taicho and me."

"Go for it, Renji!"

"Haha! You're gonna die! He's gonna trash your ass and cut you into ribbons! No one beats him and Senbon-fucking-zakura!"

"Yeah…maybe not yet…but I will."

Byakuya turned back in the direction of the office, his mind spinning. Renji wasn't at all what he seemed on the surface. He had seemed so intimidated…and friendly before. But apparently, it was an act. But why? What had he done?

He remembered the disturbed reiatsu as he had walked past Renji all of those years ago. It had been the only time they interacted. He had been offering Rukia a place in his home, hardly something that should have made him so angry…so determined. And Rukia had never mentioned him…not that they had spent much time talking…not about anything of her past anyway. He knew they were both from Inuzuri and had known each other…been friends, but he wondered how adopting Rukia might have pushed Renji into this, or if something else he was unaware of could be a factor. His stomach quailed at the thought that Renji might have seen him as a romantic rival, completely misconstruing his decision to adopt the girl. But who was Renji to Rukia? And why would he secretly be training…preparing himself to defeat his taicho and break his sword? Not that he could…not yet, anyway. Renji was strong, but nowhere near powerful enough to challenge him. And now that he knew what the young man's agenda was, he would make it his business to avoid helping him.

So when Renji arrived the next day, Byakuya said almost nothing to him the entire day. If he did not interact with Renji, then the young man couldn't advance his plot against him. If he ignored Renji, then he wouldn't be a problem. He kept that attitude and continued to ignore his fukutaicho, right up until the day that Rukia was apprehended and sentenced to death.


	7. What Cannot Be Said

**Chapter 7: What Cannot be Said**

**(Warning – non-graphic rape)**

**XXXXXXXXXX**

**_This is what you longed for…to see my body bowed in torment, my limbs shaking with fear and my lips delirious with anguish. You stayed close so you wouldn't miss seeing me fall apart. Yet, you looked surprised when you realized that you were not the only one watching me._**

**XXXXXXXXXX**

"You're late, Gin," Aizen said quietly as the silver-haired taicho joined him in the Central 46 chambers.

They walked past the carnage of the massacred councilors and into an office beyond.

"You know," said Gin, "You really ought to clean up that mess you made. They're starting to decay."

Aizen's expression didn't change.

"They were already rotten inside…fouled with arrogance and superiority. And besides," he said, looking back into the blood spattered room, "I like looking as I go by. Some of them died before the belligerence left their faces, before they abandoned their aristocratic expressions and actually showed fear."

Gin paused for a moment, studying Aizen's calm countenance, then glancing back behind him again.

"There is a great deal of venom in what you do, Sousuke. You actually hate these men that you didn't even know. You hated them enough to kill them, not knowing."

Aizen's calm smile wavered.

"I hate them _and_ what they supported…touting civility and a dependence on laws and morals, but applying them with anything but fairness. There was nothing 'just' in the actions of these justices, holding themselves above and apart, pretending to be protectors of peace, but really they were agents of oppression. And the ones who dared to question were punished for impudence, for being liberal of mind."

He gazed into the dead eyes of the councilors and sighed softly.

"These are the lucky ones, Gin. They have their reprieve. They can't be tormented and made to pay for what they've done."

"You save that fate for the nobles, ne?" Gin went on, "Speaking of which…Kuchiki taicho was rather depressed today. I was nearly able to coax him into fighting Zaraki Kenpachi."

"Really," said Aizen, his eyes meeting Gin's questioningly.

Gin nodded.

"Zaraki and I merely expressed concern to our colleague that he might be depressed over the death sentence handed down for his sister."

"And what did he say?"

"He said peasants wouldn't understand the feelings of nobles. He was really quite rude, which made Zaraki taicho belligerent, which nearly made them come to blows."

"Hmm, not much can elicit that much emotion from Byakuya. That _is_ odd."

"Yes. It was lucky I managed to drag Zaraki taicho away or someone might have died."

"Just as long as it isn't Byakuya. I want him to live. I want him to witness the uprising of the ones they stepped on, the massacre of the noble families and the throwing down of their wretched, useless king. I intend to make them understand that power is not contained in a noble name, but in a man's destiny. And wherever he comes from, the one who is strong enough will shake the heavens and make that place his own…name or no name."

Gin shook his head softly.

"They really pissed you off by not respecting you for your powers, ne?"

"What do you mean, Gin?" Aizen said with calm sarcasm, "I was made a taicho, was I not?"

"Hmm, only because you hollowfied a few taichos, who then had to be replaced. Otherwise, who knows how long we would have languished as their fukutaichos."

"Enough. I want you to stay here and manage things for a while. I have something to do."

"Oh, very well," sighed Gin, "I guess you do need to get out on occasion, especially given the dramatic exit you're about to make."

Aizen didn't answer, but disappeared in a flash step, leaving a bemused Gin looking after him. He waited until he was outside, then drew his zanpakuto and made himself invisible to others. He flash stepped through the darkened streets until he reached the sixth division, then slipped in through the doors as Abarai Renji returned from an errand.

"Oi, Taicho, you're still here?" he said, not quite meeting the noble's eyes.

"There was still work to do."

"Would you…like me to make some tea for you, Taicho?" Renji asked, looking a bit worried.

"Yes, Renji, then you may go home," Byakuya answered quietly.

Aizen watched Byakuya pore over the paperwork as Renji made the tea. The fukutaicho returned some time later and set the tea at Byakuya's elbow.

"Here you go, Taicho."

"Arigato, Renji."

Renji gave him a troubled smile, then prepared to leave. He stopped at the door and looked back at Byakuya.

"Taicho?"

Byakuya looked up at him.

"Taicho, I'm sorry about…about Rukia's sentence."

Byakuya stared at him in silence.

"Look, I know you won't say anything, but I feel that you must be sad about it too. You don't have to say anything, but…"

He left the words hanging.

"Good night, Renji," Byakuya said, his voice a shade softer.

"Good night, Taicho."

Byakuya's eyes remained fixed on the door, even after it closed behind his departing fukutaicho. He stared ahead vacantly, unaware of the eyes that watched him, then finally looked back at the papers on his desk. He sighed softly and rested his face against an open palm, trying to focus on his work, but distracted. His eyes rose to glance at his tea, then he sighed and climbed to his feet. He crossed the room and stood by Renji's desk, looking down at it and contemplating for several long minutes. Finally, he loosed another sigh and slipped a hand into the back of one of the drawers and pulled out a glass bottle. He sipped at the tea to make room in the glass, then added the liquid and drank more deeply.

Aizen watched curiously, unable to remember ever seeing Byakuya consume liquor of any kind and curious as to how he might be affected. After he refilled the teacup several times, Aizen realized that Byakuya had no idea how to moderate…or that the effects took time to peak. A slow smile crept across his face as he watched the alcohol begin to take affect. Byakuya seemed to realize that not all was well and tried to cap the bottle, but instead tipped it into the trash can. He dropped into Renji's chair and rested his head on his arms, groaning as the dizziness set in.

_He said peasants wouldn't understand the feelings of nobles._

"Okay, Byakuya," said Aizen in the noble's ear, "Why don't you explain it to me now? Why are you so tormented? She's only your sister by adoption…only a peasant you picked up and brought home because she looked like your late wife. And yet, Hisana was a peasant. Do you have a soft spot for strays or could it actually be that there is a noble who doesn't think he's too good to find love outside of a noble house?"

Byakuya gave another pained groan and surged to his feet, upsetting Renji's chair. Aizen followed as he staggered across the room and into the taicho's quarters without turning off the office lights. He closed the door behind him and leaned back against it for a moment. Then, his face paled and he flash stepped to the bathroom, falling to his knees and emptying the contents of his stomach into the toilet. He fell back against the wall, his face an ungodly white. He put his face in his hands, moaning and slowly sank the rest of the way to the floor. Shaking his head, Aizen knelt next to the unconscious noble and patted his face. The dark, senseless eyes opened and looked up through him in confusion, then closed again.

Right…you can't see me…

He lifted Byakuya's upper body and slowly removed the kenseiken, then unwound the ginpaku kazahana no uzuginu from around his shoulders. He released the tie at the noble's waist and undressed him the rest of the way, then sat, holding him and gazing down at the lovely, white flesh he had uncovered.

Kami, what I'd love to do to that sweet body! What I did before was just the beginning. I can imagine so much more…

He shook his head and stood. He disrobed slowly, his eyes meandering over the beautiful body that lay senseless at his feet. Fully naked, he lifted Byakuya, coaxing him into semi-awareness enough to set him back on his feet, then turning him towards the shower. He held Byakuya, the noble's back rested against his chest, and let the water bring life back into him. Byakuya shifted slightly and sighed, but still seemed not to connect with the fact that he was being held by someone who he couldn't see. He made no moves, nor sound as Aizen slowly washed the glowing, white skin, then the silken black hair. He stood for a long time after, with Byakuya rested against him, letting his hands explore the noble's body.

Then, the simple exploration started to feel like it wasn't enough…

He let his hand slide down the long, slender torso and wrap around, his fingers moving down and playing over the hardening erection that rose out of a nest of black curls. Byakuya moaned and sagged against him. Aizen rested his face against the noble's and began moving his hand up and down the long shaft, turning his head slightly to brush his lips against Byakuya's face.

Byakuya's body flinched and tensed and he pulled away, staggering, then shaking his head and looking around in confusion. He paused, for a moment, registering where he was, then turned off the shower and stepped out into the bathroom, sighing as he realized he had forgotten to bring in a yukata. He reached for a towel and slowly dried away the moisture, then stepped out of the bathroom and into the dressing area. He slipped into a dark red yukata and fell into his bed, moaning. Aizen followed him to the bed, then slid underneath the covers next to him. He turned and kissed Byakuya roughly on the mouth and opened his yukata.

"I may have misunderstood you, Byakuya," he whispered, "but as much as you play at fairness, you still fail to do the right things. You are still one of them and you deserve to pay along with them."

He laid his body on top of Byakuya's, parting the noble's thighs and pushed into his unprepared body. Byakuya gazed up at him with deeply hazed eyes, only making a soft sound of pain as he was entered. He shook softly and his hands tightened on Aizen's arms as the fifth division taicho began to thrust into him. The dark eyes tried to focus, tried to see, but were still misled by the power of his zanpakuto.

"What's happening?" he whispered dazedly, "What…"

"Shut up!" hissed Aizen, thrusting in harder, "you are getting what you deserve! You don't deserve Rukia and now you are going to lose her. You don't deserve the love I was once willing to show you. You thought you were too good for me…so I'll take what I want from you by force! But don't worry, little noble brat, I will leave you with your life. You wouldn't suffer enough if I killed you!"

Aizen body raged against the one trapped beneath it, forcing pained groans of protest from Byakuya that only made Aizen angrier. The noble twisted suddenly, tearing free and rolling out of bed, then crashing to the floor. Aizen dropped down beside him and rolled him onto his stomach.

"Don't think you can escape me so easily…"

He broke off and rose, stepping back as a voice sounded outside the door.

"Taicho? Taicho, are you all right? Taicho!"

The door opened and Renji peeked in, then gave a sharp gasp at seeing Byakuya unconscious on the floor.

"Taicho!" he yelled, moving quickly to the noble's side.

He turned Byakuya over and gazed down at the white, pained features. The smell of alcohol struck his senses.

"Oh…I knew you were more upset than you said. Looks like it's good I came back to check on you."

He carefully lifted the noble and carried him back to bed. He set Byakuya down, turning him onto his side and propping him there with several pillows. As he checked to make sure the noble looked comfortable, Aizen gathered his clothes and quietly slipped away. Renji gazed down at Byakuya.

"It looks like you feel the same way I do about Rukia getting that sentence. But I don't understand why you won't say anything, Taicho. If you think it's wrong…then why won't you stop them?"

He stood, quietly studying the enigmatic noble.

"I guess you have your reasons for doing this, and I have mine for what I'm going to do. Maybe there's something I can't see that's holding you back, because I know you don't want this…but even though you won't save her, I have to try. Maybe you wouldn't agree, but it's what I have to do. I'm going to try to think of a way to save her…"

He paused as Byakuya groaned and started to retch. Shaking his head, Renji climbed onto the bed and held Byakuya, making sure he threw up into the trash can, then carefully washed his face and set him back on his side again.

"Damn!" he muttered, "You are really trashed, Taicho. You are gonna have one hell of a headache in the morning, that's for damned sure!"

"Did he leave?" Byakuya moaned suddenly, "Did you make him go?"

Renji furrowed his brow.

"Did I make who leave?" he asked softly.

"I…I…don't know. I…tried to…but I couldn't…see. Is he gone?"

"He who, Taicho?" Renji asked, reaching out and tentatively touching the noble's face.

Byakuya drew back suddenly with wide, dazed eyes.

"Was it you? Would you…?"

"Taicho, you're not making any sense."

"Did you…were you the one?" Byakuya gasped, leaning forward and clutching his midsection, "Did you…hurt me?"

Renji froze, staring at him.

"Did I hurt you?" he asked, confused, "No…I wouldn't."

"Th-that's not true. I heard you. You said that…that you would b-break S-sen…"

Renji's face paled.

"I…that was…Taicho, I can explain that. But first let's get you settled."

He leaned forward and reached for the noble, but Byakuya backed away. As he did, Renji caught sight of blood on the white sheets.

"Someone hurt you?" he said, panicked, "Taicho, let me help you."

"No!" Byakuya gasped, "Get out!"

He shivered and collapsed onto the bed, still muttering for Renji to leave. The redhead shook his head and waited until he seemed senseless again. He moved forward and turned the noble over, carefully checking him for injuries. He found nothing on the upper body, but caught his breath as he spotted dried blood on an upper thigh.

"Oh…" he breathed, parting the noble's thighs, "it's good you're not awake or I think you would absolutely shred me."

He studied the area and shook his head.

"Someone hurt you, all right. Damn, Taicho, who would do that to you?"

He paused, wondering what he should do. Military protocol said he should take the noble to the healing center and report the incident. His instincts from Inuzuri told him to forget who did it and concentrate on healing the damage. As he sat, deliberating, he realized that Byakuya's eyes were open and watching him. He seemed clearer, more in control.

"T-taicho?" Renji whispered.

"Leave," Byakuya said quietly, "and say nothing."

"B-but…?"

"Go."

Seeing that the noble had regained his senses and realizing that arguing wasn't likely to be productive, Renji got up and left the room, looking back once, studying the long black hair that tumbled down the back of the red yukata. He sighed and shook his head again, then pulled the door closed.


	8. Beginning and Ending

**Chapter 8: Beginning and Ending**

**XXXXXXXXXX**

_**All that I felt was solitude. All that I knew was not to trust. You were my greatest temptation, a reason to breathe, to grow, to live again. I wanted to run, but you blocked my path, and with a warm hand on my arm, turned me towards my fate.**_

**XXXXXXXXXX**

"Taichou…" Renji's voice said, bringing Byakuya awake with a start.

He froze, pain cracking across his forehead and blazing through his eyes. He felt a hand settle onto his shoulder, steadying him, and heard Renji whisper something to his attendant. There was a hesitation, and the sound of a door closing, then they were left alone.

"What are you doing here?" Byakuya asked, placing a hand on his head to stop the awful pain.

He realized, to his dismay, that he had no memory of leaving the sixth division to return home.

Renji smiled at him gamely.

"I thought that maybe you might not want it to be generally known that you were drinking last night."

"Wha…?"

"Come on, Taichou…I'm a lot of things, but I'm not completely stupid," said Renji, "You got into the stash in my desk and drowned your sorrows…hey, I get why you would need some kind of relief, but you should have told me. You shouldn't drink alone…especially when you don't usually drink at all."

"Renji, what are you going on about?" Byakuya said, still holding his head.

"Okay fine. You don't want to talk about it. I get it. But you need a little help getting back on your feet. I knew you would, and that's why I'm here."

"Abarai," Byakuya said, "I do hope that, at some point, you are going to start making sense…"

Renji laughed softly.

"Right," he said, shaking his head, "_I'm_ the one not making sense."

He turned as the door opened and the attendant stepped into the bedroom. Renji turned and accepted the cup from his hand.

"Arigato," he said, nodding, "He'll be fine now."

"You may go," the noble told his attendant.

He made a face and groaned as an odd scent reached his senses.

"Abarai, I don't think I even dare ask what that is."

Renji laughed again.

"Yeah, don't ask. Just hold your nose and drink it quickly. It is nasty, but it will get you back on your feet and will cure that headache."

"I'm not touching that. Get out of here."

Renji frowned.

"Okay, but you're going to really hurt for it later. I'm telling you, Taichou, it really helps. Just…hold your breath while you drink it."

Byakuya looked at the odd, murky concoction and felt his stomach pitch, but, in absence of any practical knowledge to help him cure his hangover, he decided to trust his fukutaichou. He closed his eyes, held his breath and downed the horrid liquid, them dropped the cup and placed a hand over his mouth, trying desperately to hold it down. Renji looked on with sympathetic eyes and Byakuya didn't know whether to be touched by his obvious concern…or to kill him for even suggesting he subject himself to this assault on his senses. Too aware that it was his own foolishness that had put him in the situation he was in, but too proud to admit it, he settled for cold silence, but yielded Renji a look of tentative gratitude as his stomach settled and he realized that the headache was already easing.

"Better?" Renji asked calmly.

Byakuya nodded.

"Get out of here, Abarai," he said, only half-sincerely, "I will see you at the office after I make myself presentable."

Now Renji laughed whole-heartedly.

"See…I told you you'd be yourself in no time," he grinned.

He disappeared out the door, leaving the flushed taichou in his wake. Byakuya slowly dragged himself to his feet and stumbled to the dressing area. He still wasn't sure what it was that Renji had brought him, but he did feel the sickly sensation leaving him and normality returning to his body. He silently promised himself that he would never touch an alcoholic drink again. As much as it had dulled the pain, it wasn't worth the after-effects. And besides, there was no erasing the cause of the original pain.

He sighed and settled the ginpaku kazahana no uzuginu around his shoulders, but couldn't manage the kenseiken with his hands still shaking. He called in his attendant and stood quietly as he worked the headpiece into his hair, then departed for the sixth division.

As he walked, he tried to work out what he remembered about the night before. He did remember going to Renji's desk and drinking, but his memory faded after that. He knew that, at some point, he had sensed another person with him. He wasn't sure if the memory of showering was real, but he was reasonably sure that the blood he had found between his thighs meant that whoever it was had very low moral standards to have taken advantage of him in such a condition. But he wasn't going to bemoan his fate. He had been reckless and careless. He rather deserved it.

Still…he had to wonder who it had been…

He considered it carefully as he reached the sixth division and walked past Renji and his sympathetic grin. He ignored it, and in fact, ignored Renji and everyone else as he worked at his desk for the next several hours. He gave Renji an evil stare as his fukutaichou handed him one more cup of his dreaded cure, but downed it without comment and turned back to his work.

He dropped his brush when the memory of Aizen's words returned to him.

"_What's happening?" he whispered dazedly, "What…"_

"Shut up!" hissed Aizen, thrusting in harder, "you are getting what you deserve! You don't deserve Rukia and now you are going to lose her. You don't deserve the love I was once willing to show you. You thought you were too good for me…so I'll take what I want from you by force! But don't worry, little noble brat, I will leave you with your life. You wouldn't suffer enough if I killed you!"

He felt Renji's eyes on him and picked up the brush again, returning to his work with a flush on his cheeks. He was sure he had to have been dreaming. Aizen Sousuke had carefully avoided him since the incident at the manor on the day of Ginrei's leaving and his promotion. It couldn't have been…but the more thought he gave it, the more it seemed he remembered the feel of the arms that had held him, the mouth that had plundered his…then, the anger in their parting words…

"Taichou, you upset your inkpot."

Byakuya sighed and started to clean up the mess. He knew he had to be imagining things. It couldn't have been Aizen Sousuke…

He continued to mull it over in his mind as he left for the taichou's meeting. He thought about it as he stood, waiting for the captain commander with the other taichous. He thought he felt Aizen's eyes on him, but didn't dare look at him directly. He stood perfectly still, trying to ignore the feeling of being watched, and waited. He barely heard the contents of Soutaichou's message and turned to leave quickly when the meeting ended.

"Kuchiki taichou," said Aizen's voice, "may I walk you back to the sixth division? I'm going that way myself."

To not accept would be an admission, he thought, so he nodded and tried to force his body to relax as Aizen fell in next to him.

"Are you feeling better?"

He couldn't stop the flash of heat that raged across his cheeks.

"I am well enough."

Aizen smiled.

"Good. I was a bit worried. I hope you weren't offended that I accompanied you to your quarters…"

Byakuya couldn't think of an answer.

"I am a bit ashamed of myself for…well…not being able to resist…"

Byakuya stopped walking and turned toward him. He still had no idea how to answer.

"Don't worry," the other said, gazing at him affectionately, "I promise that it will remain between us, Byakuya…and I won't expect anything of you. I know you weren't in your right mind, so you probably didn't mean it anyway. It's all right. I enjoyed being with you. You were quite lovely, really."

He didn't know whether to be furious or relieved as Aizen turned away and left him there, speechless and staring. He couldn't get the awful flush off of his face and throat for the rest of the day.

Renji didn't try to talk to him about what he might know, but Byakuya felt the redhead's eyes on him and carefully avoided being left alone with him. It was bad enough that Renji knew how stupid he had been in getting drunk and letting down his guard. To have to explain what Aizen had done in the past and how it related to last night, was not something he would even consider…so he kept the doors to his heart closed and locked…and protective walls raised all around him.

He promised himself that it was the last time he would let his guard down at all…

XXXXXXXXXX

Byakuya was distracted from thinking about Aizen as the days passed and Rukia's execution grew closer. Dread had settled into his heart and was a constant weight. He couldn't make peace with the fact that Rukia was going to die…and that he was helpless to stop it.

He couldn't go against the rules…

He couldn't stop her execution….

He dared not go to visit her. Instead, he threw himself into his work, trying as he did to ignore Renji's growing restlessness and anger. He had approached Byakuya more than once, subtly trying to draw him into helping Rukia. He didn't seem able to understand the forces that bound his taichou's hands. No one seemed to understand…but he knew that a lot of people were talking about it. How cold he was…and how he had no feelings. He could have done something to stop them, but he couldn't let them know his heart was wavering. The rules were clear…and he was a defender of order in Soul Society. To break with the rules would set an example that could lead others to do the same. And even though the very thought that Rukia was going to die tormented him, he felt that there was no action he could take. He was bound fast. But the ropes seemed to be invisible to everyone but him.

The council of elders, of course, supported him…but it wasn't encouraging to him that the same group who had opposed his marriage to Hisana, now supported the execution of her sister…_his_ sister. It only made him feel more sick inside.

The only solace he seemed to have, was found in a very odd place. Every time they locked eyes, it seemed that Aizen' Sousuke's eyes registered his pain. And each time their eyes met, it seemed that the pain eased, if only slightly. He hadn't forgotten, of course, that the fifth division taichou was a danger to his family, or that he had taken advantage of him the night he had gotten so drunk. But Aizen had been kind enough not to mention it again after that.

Still, as much as he was glad not to have been pursued further, Byakuya was drowning in solitude and worry. And finally, he decided that he just couldn't bear it anymore. He needed to confront Aizen privately about what had happened…and try to put the past behind them. As much as he despised what the man had done, it would remove the threat to the clan if he made peace with Aizen. It was painfully obvious to him that he had been mistaken in believing Renji could be his soul mate…and he would never pair with Rukia…and now she was going to die. The only way to diffuse the situation then, was for him to try to calm things between Aizen and himself. He waited until he was alone in the office and summoned a hell butterfly. He whispered into it and was about to send it on its way, when an alert sounded, calling all taichous to a place near the fifth division.

He couldn't make sense of the feeling of dread that passed over him as the message rang out…as he rose and flash stepped to the given location…as he slid to a stop and stared up at the impaled form suspended on the wall by his own zanpakutou.

It wasn't possible…

Aizen Sousuke…murdered?

He wondered who could have done such a thing. What he had done to Byakuya certainly proved that the man was no saint, but he hadn't seemed to have any enemies. Still, Byakuya wondered. He knew he wasn't the only one Aizen had hurt. Perhaps, he thought, it could have been Gin. Aizen had certainly been one who tormented the silver-haired taichou…but that had been years ago. Still…

He felt eyes on him and caught sight of Renji standing in the distance and looking at him oddly. He carefully avoided his fukutaichou's eyes as the gathered taichous conferred and then turned back toward the sixth division, grateful Renji hadn't tried to approach him. His relief vanished, however, when he arrived at the division and found the office deserted, except for Renji.

"Sir," Renji said in a low voice, "I have to ask you something. I wouldn't ask…but given that so much is going on…I really have to know. Look, I know you don't want to talk about it…what happened to you that night. But I wondered…"

"Stop," said Byakuya quietly, "Say no more, Renji."

He started towards his quarters, but was surprised by the sound of Renji's flash step and a body pushing his back against the wall. Fury flashed in the noble's eyes and was met with equal rage in Renji's.

"I'm sorry, I know this is not acceptable, but I'm telling you that I have to know! I have to know, because I might know _why_ he was killed. If it wasn't you…if it wasn't about that night…if he wasn't the one, then I'm sorry! But you have to tell me, Taichou. Did Aizen taichou rape you? And did you kill him because of it? I _have _to know, you see. Because he told me that there might be a conspiracy…that someone might have set Rukia up to be executed for his own reasons. He asked if I thought the sentence was fair…and he suggested someone set her up."

Byakuya stared.

"You think I killed Aizen Sousuke?" he asked softly, the anger giving way to shock.

"No! I don't know…it's just…you were avoiding him…after. So I wondered if he was the one. But Taichou, didn't you hear what I said? Rukia may have been set up!"

"What are you talking about?" Byakuya asked, confused, "Why would anyone do that? And how could they? Renji…the councilors of Central 46 tried her and sentenced her to death. There is no conspiracy…despite your wishful thinking. Rukia broke the laws and she will die for that…and for your information, I did _not_ kill Aizen Sousuke. I would have challenged him to an open battle if I had decided to kill him. I chose not to."

He pulled away and turned towards his quarters.

"I would think that, as her brother, you would care enough to ask questions, that you would do what you could to help her. But maybe Aizen Sousuke was right in something else he said to me. Maybe the nobles do have a different way of thinking. And if that's why you won't help her, then it's my opinion that noble thinking is really fucked up. Where I come from, we fight for the people we love. We die for them."

Byakuya felt his stomach turn and closed his eyes against a sudden burning sensation in his eyes.

"Then if that is your way, do as you must. And despise me as you will. You do not understand…and you cannot understand. Let us just leave it at that."

Renji lingered for a moment, staring at him, then disappeared. Byakuya turned into his quarters and closed the door behind him. He slid down the door and sat with his back against it, hot tears in his eyes and his fists clenched…and Renji's accusation ringing in his ears.

_Did Aizen taichou rape you? And did you kill him because of it?_

He did know, then…

"I would think that, as her brother, you would care enough to ask questions, that you would do what you could to help her. But maybe Aizen Sousuke was right in something else he said to me. Maybe the nobles do have a different way of thinking. And if that's why you won't help her, then it's my opinion that noble thinking is really fucked up. Where I come from, we fight for the people we love. We die for them."

He knew _that_ Aizen had raped him…

And _why_ he had raped him…

He did understand Byakuya's inner torment…and still, just as Aizen had, Renji hated him. And now Renji was determined to defy him. He was going to go against the law and likely get himself sentenced to death for his choice to do so. And in his defiance, he was forcing Byakuya's hand. He was going to put his taichou in the position of having to capture or kill him.

It was inevitable, then…

But Renji had wanted it to happen from the start…

He had come to Byakuya wanting to defeat him…

And now he had his reason to do so.

_Renji._

_Don't do this._

_Don't force me to kill you._


	9. Shredded

**Chapter 9: Shredded**

**XXXXXXXXXX**

_**So many things seethe beneath the surface that fire rages on my skin and guilt burns at my mind. I sought balance amidst my imperfection, but the more I tried to center myself, the further I fell. It seems that I cannot keep a single one of my promises, that every breath I release is a lie, and every step I take is one step closer to losing myself entirely.**_

**XXXXXXXXXX**

_Hisana, I don't know what to do. I swore that I would not ever go against the law again, yet once again my heart aches with conflict. It's my own fault…but…I only came to this because I didn't realize how my promises would come to be at odds with each other. But I see now how I set myself on the path to this. I did take her into the family, as you asked, but instead of being close to her as you wanted, I foolishly tried to protect my own feelings by having her graduated early and placed in a squad too soon. Had I kept her closer to me and allowed her to mature more slowly, things wouldn't have turned out this way. I failed Rukia and, in so doing, I failed you._

_And now, Rukia is going to pay for my mistakes with her life…and there is nothing I can do. Move or stand still…I am damned either way. I wonder if I will ever again take a breath that doesn't sting or have my heart not ache with every beat. On the outside, I look the same, but on the inside I am crumbling._

"Gomen nasai, Kuchiki-sama, it is time."

_I feel as though I am hanging on to the last bit of beauty I know, but it is leaving…and as I watch it fade away, my heart will disappear entirely. I haven't the right to ask your forgiveness, so I won't. You won't burden your heart with hating me, so I will hate myself. And the emptiness that will come with losing this last bit of you is only a reminder that I was never good enough for you. Everyone thought that I did something kind by bringing you here…that it was a kindness taking you away from that awful place where I found you…but I was the one who was given more. You saw through the pristine lovely surface of my noble life…and that it wasn't all that beautiful. We were trapped, each in our own dangerous world. I thought I took you out of yours…but it only meant that I brought you into mine. I know that my clan made you feel unwanted. That was another reason that I sought to send Rukia to a squad. And in sending her to Ukitake taichou, I thought to give her into gentler hands than mine…hands that knew how to love and care for someone as I did not. And look where that foolishness has left me? When today ends, I will have lost everything left that matters. Power means little and material things less. Only the heart matters really…and mine is forever broken._

Byakuya rose and took a last look at his late wife's image.

"Well," he said softly, "I'm off now."

He turned away, feeling the cold against his skin as he left the candlelit room and moved out onto the walkway. He walked quietly through the oddly empty streets, dread creeping into his heart. He felt the chill of waiting death as he moved towards the place where he was to watch his sister die. With every step, his heart became heavier and with each step, he wished he could have been born a commoner…someone free to follow his heart and to listen to the overly strong conscience that constantly admonished him.

What was expected of him…

What was right…

He wondered why the two couldn't be the same. They were for others, he knew. They were for Rukia and Abarai…and for the Ryoka boy who trained with Yoruichi. He couldn't bring himself to hope that Ichigo and Renji would be strong enough to stop what was happening. But if the fools tried, they likely deserved the death they would find.

Rukia had committed a serious crime and had been sentenced to death…there was no getting past that…

"_I would think that, as her brother, you would care enough to ask questions, that you would do what you could to help her. But maybe Sousuke was right in something else he said to me. Maybe the nobles do have a different way of thinking. And if that's why you won't help her, then it's my opinion that noble thinking is really fucked up. Where I come from, we fight for the people we love. We die for them."_

_Byakuya felt his stomach turn and closed his eyes against a sudden burning sensation in his eyes._

_"Then if that is your way, do as you must. And despise me as you will. You do not understand…and you cannot understand. Let us just leave it at that."_

He shivered with a mixture of rage and guilt as he remembered how Renji had been nearly killed in his battle with Ichigo…how he had nearly thrown his life away so foolishly, taking on the Ryoka boy alone when Ichigo had already surprised them with his considerable strength once. He knew he had surprised everyone by demanding that Renji be imprisoned immediately, but in absence of another way to bring him to his senses, to make him see how his recklessness had not solved anything, it hadn't been as much cruelty as desperation. Despite the fact that Renji had always planned to attack him at some point, he didn't want the brash, young fukutaichou to die…especially not in such a stupid fashion. But as he traveled down the quiet streets and neared the repentance center, he sensed that Renji had broken out of his cell. He ran now towards the place where Byakuya stood, his heart desperate and his mind bent on destroying anyone and anything that tried to stop him.

And even though his heart already carried the pain of Rukia's impending death, it shattered anew as Renji approached him…sensed him…and slid to a stop, staring up at him. Something in his mind snapped. It might have been the pain of what was happening to Rukia…of losing his wife…and now, of watching as Renji needlessly threw his life away. He might have had a chance, had he not been healing from the beating that Ichigo gave him. Even injured as he still was, he had respectable power…but it wasn't enough…and that made the blood boil beneath the noble's skin. He was being incredibly stupid, but he had effectively tied Byakuya's hands. If it was a battle Renji wanted, then he was resolved to give it to him.

He forced away the vision of the slender youth he had seen as he left Rukia to think about the adoption, the familiar face that had appeared in the stack of candidates and earned his attention. He tried to forget the hopefulness he had felt those first hours and the painful end of that hope as Renji revealed his hidden agenda to his friends. He pushed away the sound of his voice asking if Byakuya wanted tea, the slightly crooked smile that made him feel warm inside and the way he had taken care of him after he had gotten drunk and made himself ill. He couldn't think of his fukutaichou that way and then take him down. He had to bury everything in coldness. He had to submerge everything beneath his resolve. He glared down at the frozen redhead, his gray eyes glinting like chips of ice and poured everything into one last chance to stop Renji's madness.

"Where are you going, Renji?"

"I'm going…to save Rukia," the redhead replied, shaking under the force of his spiritual pressure.

"No," he replied with finality.

"I must!" exclaimed Renji, shocking him with the forcefulness of the statement, "I assume that…you're refusing to let me pass."

It was clear then, that talking to the redhead would prove useless.

"I don't intend to repeat myself," he said, the futility of the gesture numbing him inside.

He swept down off of the column he stood on and attacked. He almost expected the sword that stopped his Senka and a part of him felt pride that his fukutaichou had been astute enough to master the way to counter it. He was more surprised when he released his shikai and found it soundly countered by Zabimaru. Yes…it was surprising, especially because the redhead hadn't even called his zanpakutou's name. But nothing could have prepared him for the words that came next.

"Ban kai! Hihio Zabimaru!"

And even though surprised, he was again secretly warmed by the power behind the huge skeletal snake that rose up before him. But he was careful to keep his voice calm and mocking. He didn't want Renji to mistakenly believe that he would go easy…

But going easy wasn't even an option…

He bristled as Renji attacked him verbally, about his lack of concern for his subordinates, his carelessness and inattentiveness that had allowed a subordinate to reach bankai without him being aware. The words stung fiercely, mostly because they were correct and held painful meaning, coming from Renji. He wondered if they did him more damage than Renji's weapon, cutting through his reasons for refusing to waver…to let him go…to let him save someone Byakuya truly wished could be saved, but had determined doomed to her fate.

_But what if…_

_What if Renji actually…_

But it was foolishness to think that way. Despite everything, the redhead still wasn't strong enough…and his resolve was only going to get him killed. He had to be stopped.

"Bakudo number 61, Rikoujoukorou!"

He watched quietly as the kido spell froze the redhead in place, hoping that finally, Renji would realize his situation and back down. But the truth looked back at him through hateful eyes, and he was again left with no choice.

So Byakuya calmly released his ban kai.

Disappointment seeped through him as the blades tore through Renji, but he consoled himself with the fact that his own resolve had wavered just slightly, so he hadn't hit the redhead with all of his strength. It was enough, though. Renji was down in a pool of blood and his ban kai had disappeared. He reached out with his senses and found Rikichi was nearby. He loosed a few more cold words to hold Renji down and summoned his senkei to pin him in place. He thought that it was enough…that Renji would be smart enough to know he was in danger of dying, but the redhead seemed to have lost his sense of everything but that one goal.

Byakuya was genuinely taken by surprise…and a small part of him still wished there was a way. But cold reality controlled him and forced him to turn back when he would rather have walked away while there was still time. His eyes widened as his senkei shattered and Renji gained his feet again.

_What is he doing?_

_He is really going to force me to...?_

But even as common sense told him to move, and he certainly could have done so, Byakuya stood perfectly still, perfectly open and defenseless against Renji's last, desperate attack. He closed his eyes at the moment of impact, but was shaken soundly as he felt his reiatsu alone stop Renji in front of him.

He thought again of the hope he had felt upon meeting Renji, that glimmer of possibility that the redhead could, indeed, be his soul mate. And maybe, he thought, it still could be. Maybe, he thought, Renji hadn't failed because he wasn't strong enough. Maybe it was that connection, the Seirei-Joumei. And if it protected him, he wondered if it could protect them both. He hoped it would, but that hope began to fade as blood exploded around Renji's destroyed body and he began to collapse. It was everything Byakuya could do to hold still and show nothing as he watched his future dying in front of him.

_But do not despair, Renji. You said that what you wanted was to destroy me. And because of this...if you are my soul mate, and I have killed you, then not only will I fall, the house Kuchiki will be brought down too._

He was beyond surprise or anger or even sadness as he watched Renji's sword break apart. He barely felt the sting on his face, but nodded in approval as Renji fell for what would be the last time. He slipped the loosened ginpaku kazahana no uzuginu from around his throat and let it fall over Renji's unmoving form.

"Congratulations," he said with sincerity, "very admirable. That time, your fang definitely reached me."

Emptied inside of everything and feeling like the bastard everyone thought him to be, he turned and walked away.

He didn't feel anything else for a time. He walked on in a daze, almost forgetting that there had been a fight…some kind of struggle that had taken another person he cared about. Yes, despite everything, he still cared about his fukutaichou. That part of him that had never quite let go of the idea of him being his soul mate. He was furious with Renji for turning on him, but that part of him loved the redhead's spirit, wanted him to live…and even more, wanted Renji to come back to him the way he was in those first few hours, nervous and anxious, eager to please…and so damned beautiful it made him ache inside. But he had killed that person…and even if Renji didn't die from his wounds, he might as well be dead for all of the feeling he would have for Byakuya.

Yes, Renji would hate him, because he had beaten him. He would hate him because he then stood by and watched quietly as Rukia was executed. And Byakuya didn't blame him. As much as Renji would hate him, it couldn't compare to how he despised himself.

And yet, to be able to submerge everything, to drive the emotion down so far that he could almost forget it was there…to release himself to carry a calm countenance…that was what the noble class called 'grace.' It was, of course, a lie. But then, the nobles were the best of liars…the ones who showed nothing and hid everything…the ones who stood by and let their own be cut down for something called justice. It wasn't justice, really. It was the law. And they were sworn to follow and protect it, even if they, themselves must die to do so. Even if, by some mistake or manipulation, the law was wrong…

"_Taichou, didn't you hear what I said? Rukia may have been set up!"_

Could it, he wondered, be true? Or was he just becoming desperate to keep her from dying? He reminded himself of Renji's fate…and the fate of all who went against the law. No…it couldn't have been a setup. No one could convince the councilors of Central 46 to purposely set Rukia up to be executed. It couldn't be done…and Rukia didn't have enemies of that caliber.

But _he_ did…

If, for some reason, Rukia had been set up, then it would have been because of him. But Aizen Sousuke was dead, he reminded himself, so there was no way to determine if he had pulled strings…although it would explain his eagerness to plant doubt in Renji's mind. And that doubt led the redhead to his doom at the end of his own taichou's blade. It was, he had to admit, an ingenious way to get to him…but if it had been directed at him, there had to be a greater goal…with Aizen, that would have to be. But what would Aizen stand to gain that was greater than hurting Byakuya? Was it enough to plan such movements, such extreme situations, to cause such discord…no, if he had done it, then it wasn't simply to hurt Byakuya, it was for some other purpose that happened to include that as a benefit. But Aizen was dead. He couldn't get around that fact…and that made worrying about it futile.

He was surprised to find himself suddenly crossing the bridge and approaching the Soukyoku. Rukia stood there already…near a few of the taichous who were not locked in battles with the Ryoka or otherwise diverted. It wasn't as though Rukia was an officer anyway. And that made the execution order even stranger.

"_Taichou, didn't you hear what I said? Rukia may have been set up!"_

The words wouldn't leave his head as he walked toward Rukia and felt her eyes fasten on him. He couldn't let himself look at her. His hands were already sweating, his heart racing and his guilt was raging, but he carefully averted his eyes and took his place among the taichous. He didn't feel worthy of standing among them anymore. He was a failure. He was a liar. He was a coward.

He threw everything into keeping his body calm and quiet, but as Rukia began to be lifted into the sky, he shivered inside. He turned his eyes upward as she reached the top, resolved to make himself watch her last moments so that he would never succumb to the desire to forgive himself. The Soukyoku hissed and roared to life…and now that all eyes were on the prisoner, he could shake softly and it wouldn't be noticeable. He kept the calm, quiet expression, but his eyes grew intense and his heart pounded as the firebird screeched and swept forward. He felt everything stop inside of him, heart, soul and his breath. Dizziness passed over him and his legs tremored threateningly beneath him. He wanted to scream, to cry out to her, to save her, but he forced it all down, keeping in mind his solemn vow to never again break a law. He knew his parents would have been proud of his resolve, his self-discipline, his honorable behavior. He held onto that…and it was enough to sustain him, to hold him together as the Soukyoku plunged forward, ready to steal away the last person he would ever allow himself to really care about. He held onto his resolve with all of his strength, forcing everything else away…and it actually was possible for him to find calm inside again…that is, until he realized that the Soukyoku had stopped and Kurosaki Ichigo had placed himself between the Soukyoku and his sister.

Everything that had been so strong inside him broke apart and he knew he would have crumbled, but in a last ditch effort to save his fading resolve, he drove all of his emotion into anger, anger that brought Senbonzakura out of his sheath, that carried him across the ground in an eyeblink and that drove his blade crashing down onto Ichigo's.


	10. The Betrayal

**Chapter 6: The Betrayal**

**XXXXXXXXXX**

**_I burn inside for you, but I destroy the things that surround you. You dare not approach me, but you cannot run from me. I am inside you now. We have become one. Hold me…and watch your hands catch fire…_**

**XXXXXXXXXX**

It was a relief to have left the battlefield…to kneel quietly and taste the blood in his mouth and thank all of the stars in the sky that the Ryoka boy had proven himself stronger. He thought back to Shihoin Yoruichi's words on the bridge, her promise to make Ichigo stronger than him. And just as she had promised, Ichigo had, in the end, shattered Senbonzakura…leaving Byakuya bloodied and beaten.

But Ichigo had definitely paid for the privilege…

And now, none could say that he had done anything less than his duty. He had put aside his feelings and served his clan, had kept his promise to his parents. He couldn't claim a full victory, because he had not, in fact, been able to keep his promise to Hisana to protect her younger sister, but then, Ichigo had taken care of that obligation. He knew he owed the youth something for that. But there would be time for paying debts later. For now, Byakuya knelt calmly in the brush, letting his reiatsu restore itself. It was still a ways to the fourth division and he was weary.

He paused to give thought to what he would do now.

Renji and Rukia would be considered fugitives, but unless Soutaichou directly ordered him to do so, he would not pursue either. Rukia, he would not pursue, because he had already lost his right to do so. And Renji…Renji, he would not pursue because, in truth, he was grateful…grateful to this one who was more like a brother to her than he would ever be. Renji was the body that was able to do what Byakuya wished he could. He wished he could have rescued his sister and carried her away from Sokyoku Hill. He wished he could have fled the Seireitei and found a place to keep her safe and well until the trouble was over.

But his hands were tied at every turn, it seemed. And strong as he was, he was never, it seemed, allowed to use that strength to protect what he held dear. Instead, he protected something called peace, which was kept in place by adherence to laws. The only problem was that a set of laws was only as good and useful as the ones who enforced it. Adherence to laws depended on the morals of the ones in power. And although many holding power currently were people of good character, many were not. And that meant that the laws were being applied imperfectly, which went against what he believed.

That brought the question down to what he was really protecting. In a way, he was protecting what he believed was important, but with the system corrupted, his protection was being misused to benefit those who did not share his values. And so he was protecting a corrupted system and leaving unprotected, the people he cared about, people like Rukia and Renji, who were the victims of the misuse of justice. He knew well enough that even if he did not pursue Rukia, Central 46 would, and now they would pursue his fukutaichou as well. There seemed to be no way out.

He sighed softly, his reiatsu restored enough to continue walking, but his heart, as always, too deeply conflicted. So, he remained where he was, the afternoon sun heating the half-dead brush all around and his heart as dry and beaten as their shriveled leaves and branches.

He had almost decided to continue on to the fourth division when he felt a hot wind cross the trail, a rise in reiatsu that seemed oddly familiar. He looked over his shoulder, back in the direction of Soukyoku Hill, feeling something stir inside. He wasn't sure what it was, but something seemed amiss. Bereft of his sword and not yet even half restored, he should have left it to others to investigate, but as he stood, scenting the power on the breeze, he recognized Rukia and Renji's reiatsu and the presence of three taichou levels.

He closed his eyes against the realization…

So…they must have been captured…but…why return them to the stand? The stand was destroyed. Do they plan to use another form of execution? Do they not plan to pursue judgment of the two in a lawful fashion before executing them? And if justice has broken down, and the law is not being applied properly…I have an obligation to do something.

Byakuya turned and flash stepped in the direction of the stand. He hurried back along the trail he had taken, sensing more as he closed in on the ones at the top of the hill. Multiple taichous were arriving. The very fact of that hastened his feet. He reached a covered area near the stand and slid to a stop, his eyes widening, and his heart breaking into pieces.

He is alive?

_His death was a lie?_

_But what…?_

Oh kami! Renji was right! He did this…planned it all…didn't he?

_But…how?_

Blood exploded around him and he felt the decline of Ichigo's reiatsu…of Renji's …and he moved closer. He could hear the words now, softly spoken words in a deceptively gentle voice that had lulled him into complacency as a youth and cost him his innocence. It was a voice he had thought stilled by murder, but it now rose up and calmly explained how he had lied to everyone, how he had murdered the councilors of Central 46 and used Rukia and used him. Every bit of his coldness was delivered with that same calm sarcasm and disdain. And suddenly, Byakuya felt weaker than when Senbonzakura had shattered in his hand.

_Renji knew! He tried so hard to tell me, but I was so caught up in my own pain that I didn't hear him._

Because Aizen, as he had learned long before and should not have forgotten, was anything but what he seemed. He hated the system of rule and held himself above it and the ones who supported it. He was heartless and cruel, willing to use anyone to achieve what he wanted. He had used Rukia cruelly. And Byakuya knew why. Aizen hated the system of government, which placed the noble clans above others and the Kuchiki clan was the most powerful clan. He was the clan leader and Aizen had been convinced that Byakuya thought himself above others, that he had rejected the man's advances, because Aizen was not noble class. But it hadn't been that at all. From the start, Byakuya had sensed the man's malevolence. He had been wary, but even wariness hadn't been enough to save him. He should have, he realized now, acted sooner. He should have moved to have the execution stopped as soon as the words left Renji's mouth. But he had frozen and the moment was lost. The wheels were turning and Aizen was standing there now, holding Rukia by the throat, and in calm, cold words, ordering Gin to kill her.

She was not going to die because of any crime…and in fact, had committed no real crime at all. She had only been his pawn, one he chose to discard, now that her usefulness was done. But Rukia was his sister, one he was sworn to protect, and freed of the obligation to seek her capture and execution, it was his duty to act in the way he had wanted to from the start. It was odd, he thought, that Renji and Ichigo's refusal to adhere to the law…and now Aizen's treachery cleared his sister of any remaining guilt and freed him to come to her rescue. There was, he thought, some sense in all of the chaos. And there was a gift, even in Aizen Sousuke's betrayal.

His feet could move again. His power flared around him. Bereft of zanpakutou and the better part of his strength, he threw his heart into brutally fast flash steps that burned his very skin with their ferocity. He felt the strain on his power centers, felt them burn as hotly as his flesh. He cast himself forward, his hands capturing and pulling free what belonged to him, his body thrown between her and the incoming blade that sought to take her. He felt his feet touch the ground and closed his eyes against what was happening. Gin's weapon found his chest and plunged inside. He felt the hard shock, the violation of flesh…blood…and heart, and his knees weakened.

He was still standing.

Aizen Sousuke was staring with a look of calm detachment in his eyes.

Then the weapon was torn free and Byakuya dropped to his knees, still holding Rukia tightly. He stared into the calm brown eyes and saw nothing in them now, but death, and it closed in on Rukia and him as Aizen stepped closer, laying a hand on his sword. Then something started to happen around them. He tried to see, but he was too far gone. He collapsed against Rukia and the world around him grew hazy and dull. He moved in and out of consciousness, rising up long enough to sense Aizen's leaving, long enough to yield Rukia a truth he had promised never to speak, long enough to lift the last bit of weight from his heart and sigh, knowing she was safe, then he gave himself over to the darkness. He didn't want to think about what came next.

But all too soon, it seemed, life began to flow again in his veins. Despite how torn his heart was, it had not died, and against all logic, continued to beat beneath his ruined breast, each pulse sending pain firing through him. He released a groan and felt healing hands touch him, making the pain disappear and his mind spin away again. He was grateful for the fact that the fog around his mind kept him from feeling the full weight of his failures…of his naivety…his outright stupidity.

Aizen Sousuke had completely taken him in and used him, used Rukia. Then he had betrayed everyone and discarded them like scattered leaves. And it wasn't as though he could claim innocence, or that he had never been warned. Ginrei had told him to stay away from Aizen. But staying away had not really been an option, and he had come to pay a terrible price. And the worst, Byakuya thought, was not yet over. Aizen was still a threat to his clan, could still hurt him, even from the distant desert of Hueco Mundo. He had to do something, but being unable to break free of his injury, he was helpless to do so. He was so weak now, so weak that it wouldn't be hard for Aizen to completely annihilate him if he really wanted to.

"Nii-sama?"

No…

"Nii-sama, wake up…"

You can't be here.

"I'm here for you, Nii-sama. Renji and I are both here."

Please…go.

"Everyone is worried about you. You've had so many people who wanted to visit you. But we can't let them in until you're better. Nii-sama, I need you to wake up. We need to talk…"

I can't look you in the eyes.

"You don't have to say anything, but I need to tell you I love you and to have you hear me."

I do not deserve your love.

"It's over now. All of the bad things are over."

They are not as 'over' as you think.

"We can be a family now."

I have no family. I have dishonored my clan with my disobedience. I have dishonored you by fouling my mind and body and heart with the one who tried to hurt you…to kill you.

"I need you to forgive me, Nii-sama."

What?

"I'm so sorry I was a burden to you. I understand now why you acted as you did…and I'm sorry that it hurt you to see my sister every time you looked at me. I'm sorry you felt obligated to find me…that you had to break the rules to bring me into the family."

Don't blame yourself. I chose to bear that burden for Hisana…and I would do it all again…only I would do better by you.

"I feel lucky to have you as my brother."

I have been no brother to you.

"I want you to come back so that we can make things better between us."

Don't you understand? I don't deserve that! I was raped twice by the man who almost killed you and even so, I did not stop him from reaching you!

"I want to let go of the past, Nii-sama. I want us to have a new start, a better one. Please."

Is that even possible?

"Nii-sama, I love you."

Would you still love me if you knew?

But he already knew the answer. Rukia would forgive him, even knowing about Aizen. But he couldn't confess that to her. He knew he would never be able to say the words. And so he resolved that when he was able to wake, to speak to her. He wouldn't tell her about Aizen, but he would make things right. They would go on. And Aizen would be left behind them…slowly forgotten.

It was what they both wanted, wasn't it?

But even as he found the strength to lace his fingers together with Rukia's and squeeze her hand lightly, he had to wonder. Would it be possible to leave it all behind?

Would it?

He wondered as the time went on and the hours passed. He wondered as Rukia fell silent, as her head dropped down to rest beside his on his pillow. He wondered as Renji continued to sit quietly in the doorway, whittling away absently at a piece of wood and stealing glances at Rukia and him. He wondered as the moon rose into the sky outside the fourth division, full and blue and lovely. And he was still wondering when the sun rose again, when Rukia's head lifted off his pillow and the weight seemed to lift from his body.

He was calm inside again. He had found his center. And so centered, he would move forward. He would forget Aizen Sousuke's foulness and cling to the beautiful things around him. And with Rukia and Renji hovering so near, he didn't have to be alone anymore.

But even as he met Rukia's eyes and yielded her a small smile, doubt nagged at him from a place somewhere deep inside. There was something inside that told him that he hadn't seen the last of Aizen Sousuke, that he would see the man again, all too soon.

He pushed the doubts aside and sat up slowly, sipping at his tea and admiring the sunshine and flowers outside his window.

It didn't matter.

It was over.

There was no more need to question.

Why?

Why didn't matter.

It was a useless question, and yet, it was the first thing he asked Renji as soon as he was able.

"Renji…why are you here?"

I'm here because…you are my taichou."

"You probably wish I was dead. That's probably what you're thinking."

"No, if you were to die, then what motivation would I have for getting stronger? And in fact, Taichou…"

Ichigo's sudden entrance took away the words that Renji had so been wanting to say, but even though he did not have the chance to speak them, and even though he lost the courage to say them later, Byakuya felt them somewhere deep inside, and a small flame of hope was lit.

_Perhaps...you can still save us..._

_Renji._


	11. The Bond Revealed

**Chapter 11: The Bond Revealed**

**XXXXXXXXXX**

_**Here we have been handed this new beginning. Let us take care not to waste it, not to take it for granted and not to lose it recklessly. Open your eyes and see what is right in front of you. It has always been there, but you have stood, waiting with your eyes closed.**_

**XXXXXXXXXX**

Renji followed the long, white hallway to the room where Byakuya laid sleeping. He turned off before the doorway and stopped in the small lounge to prepare two cups of green tea, then walked on to Byakuya's room. He still felt uncomfortable being in the noble's presence…not so much because he worried that Byakuya would send him away, but more because although they had shared that one exchange of words, Byakuya had seemed to turn inward after Ichigo's interruption. He had barely spoken to Renji after that, although the redhead had not once left his side. All of their words had been short, necessary requests and replies. They hadn't taken on the larger question of what would happen next.

Renji was surprised that he hadn't already been arrested. But word had come that in the wake of Aizen's treachery, all cases like his would be referred to each person's commanding officer. That put his fate squarely in Kuchiki Byakuya's hands. It was up to Byakuya to decide what would happen to him, and while Renji had been sitting there on pins and needles, Byakuya had lain in the healing center, unable, most of the time to conjure the wakefulness to decide whether or not he could sit up or eat. He wasn't even aware yet of the captain commander's order. But it was Renji's job to tell him and he, of course dreaded doing so. He carried the tea into Byakuya's room and set it on the table beside his bed, then touched his shoulder gently to wake him.

"Taichou," he said softly.

Byakuya's eyes blinked open, looking relatively clear for the first time in days. He sat up slowly and Renji adjusted the pillows behind him as he picked up the tea and quietly sipped at it."

"You look better today…clearer."

Byakuya looked up at him, but said nothing.

"Look, uh, while you were kinda out of it, an order came in from Soutaichou. It, uh, has to do with what happens to those who helped the Ryoka or committed other related crimes during the crisis."

His breath caught in his chest at the sudden reaction in Byakuya's eyes.

Why is he looking at me like that? Could it mean…?

"Well?" the noble said, urging him to continue.

Renji lowered his eyes and sat down.

"Soutaichou has ordered that because of the confusion caused by Aizen Sousuke's betrayal and the fact that the murders of the Central 46 councilors places us all under rules of martial law…it is the job of the taichous to consider the actions of any relevant subordinates…and to take whatever action is deemed appropriate."

He fell silent, his cheeks flaring softly as he waited for Byakuya to answer. Finally, he looked up again and found the dark gray eyes quietly observing him.

"Taichou?" he said questioningly.

Byakuya loosed a soft sigh.

"I imagined he might do this."

He sipped at his tea and turned his head to look out the window.

"So Renji, Soutaichou's order places us on opposite sides, once again. I am supposed to consider what you did and why, then decide what punishment, if any, there will be."

Byakuya closed his eyes. Renji shivered softly and held his breath.

"You admitted to me that from the day I took Rukia into my family, you had but one goal…to surpass me. You were obsessed with this goal, though you used lies and deceit to cover it up, so that I would remain unaware. But know this, I became aware of your intent that first day, when you came to be my fukutaichou."

"Wh-what?" Renji said, his face paling.

"I chose to ignore it. And I see now that I should not have done that. I should have confronted you then."

"I…"

"Stop. We need to say the words to each other, to yield the truth and take the consequences…_both of us_. Because, like you, I had a hidden agenda…a secret path that I followed from that day when I first saw you."

"Wh…T-taichou? What are you saying?" Renji stammered.

"It's the truth. I knew that first day that you were someone pivotal, because, even not knowing you, I was drawn to you."

"B-but, we didn't even get to really know each other until…"

"Do you think that it was a coincidence that your power peaked at the time it did? That you were chosen to be my fukutaichou by chance? Renji…your drive to surpass me caused you to become a candidate, but would you like to know why I chose you?"

Renji stared, wide-eyed, but couldn't think of a thing to say.

"On the day that I made the decision, I was looking through the profiles of the candidates, when the wind swept across my desk and threw the other profiles aside. As though your will was a force that could not be stopped, as though you were meant to come to me, your face appeared there…and yes, I remembered you. I remembered the things that happened that day at the academy, and I chose you because of that."

"B-but, I don't understand."

"I felt a connection, and it was revealed to me by the council of elders that day that someone I met would have a significant impact on my future."

"Rukia!" gasped Renji, "They were talking about Rukia, right? I didn't even know you! All I knew of was your power. That was why I…"

"That was why when Rukia left, you let her go. You let her walk away with me, but you promised yourself that you would make yourself strong enough to surpass me. But this wasn't about me at all. It was about you and Rukia. It was about the love between two who were like brother and sister. My offer to Rukia got in the way of that, and your vow to surpass me, was the result of that. However, my interest in you comes from a different place entirely."

Renji blinked in confusion.

"Taichou, I don't understand. What are you saying to me?"

"What I am saying is that, in all fairness, I have no right to judge you. Because, although it is true that you had proper skills and power to be chosen as my fukutaichou, that wasn't why I chose you. The truth is, I wasn't looking at you as a fukutaichou, a subordinate. I was observing you from a different point of view entirely."

Renji stared helplessly, feeling like something was closing in around him and beginning to squeeze. He said nothing, but struggled to breathe as Byakuya continued.

"The council of elders told me that day that I had met my soul mate, Renji. My soul mate is the only one who can trigger what is known as the Seirei-Joumae, a linking of spirits that can never be broken, not even by death."

"But th-that has to be Rukia, right? I mean, a soul mate is a…"

"It is much more than a romantic partner, Renji. The Seirei-Joumae is triggered when there is a threat to the clan. This threat is posed by Aizen Sousuke."

"But he's in Hueco Mundo."

"But think about his goals, Renji. He hates the noble houses as much as he hates the king. And as much as he plans to kill the king, he also plans to destroy us. This is why the Seirei-Joumae activated. That is why you and I have come to this place."

"Whoa," Renji gasped, standing and backing away, "This is crazy, you know? You do know that, right? Rukia's the one, I mean, she's the one you met that day. You didn't even speak to me! And sh-she's female. I mean, not that I have anything against homosexuality, but…"

"I am not Rukia's soul mate, Renji. She is not the one the elders foresaw, although, like you, she is the person that they believed to be the one."

"You should listen to them Taichou, because there's just, there's just no way that you and I…that we…"

"Think about it, Renji," Byakuya said quietly, "Think about the steps that took that made you stronger,how every step you took was a step that brought you closer to me. Rukia has been at my side for years, and yet her development is nowhere near the level of yours. And she and I have never been close."

"But Rukia was the one who supported you, who refused to blame you for anything, even when she was on the stand and waiting to die! I betrayed you. I attacked you."

"I gave you no choice in that. It was necessary to bring our differences out, to make us face them. I struck you down and I was cold and methodical in doing so. I did this, but my heart was not in it. You see, I wanted you to be strong enough. I wanted you to be able to defeat me, so I didn't hold back."

"What? Th-that's not what you said at all!"

"I know that. You know that I was bound by the warring promises I made. I couldn't save Rukia, nor could I simply let you save her. I had to observe the law and enforce it, but I did not desire that."

Renji sat in silence for a moment, considering Byakuya's words.

"Huh, you say you didn't hold back, but that's not true, is it? You could have hit me more forcefully with your ban kai, couldn't you?"

Byakuya sighed.

"I meant to. However, even though we have not acknowledged who we are to each other, there is still something within us that responds to that potential. There was something in me that acted at that moment, that stopped me from killing you completely."

"The Seirei-Joumae?"

"Yes. If not for that, I would have killed you then. Holding back wasn't something I could have done consciously, so the Seirei-Joumae protected us from killing each other. And even when I walked away so coldly, my heart wasn't in it. I was only able to leave you because I sensed Rikichi nearby and I knew that he would not let you die."

Renji looked down to where his sweaty, shaking hands clenched each other. He dropped back into his chair, still not able to believe what he was hearing.

"I continued on to the execution and I would have allowed Rukia to die, but Ichigo arrived, with you at his side. I wondered then if I had been mistaken about you, but thinking back, what you did makes perfect sense. Don't you see, Renji? Had my nobility and my promises not bound me, mine would have been the voice and the power protecting her from the start. It would have been me who took her and ran from the hill. But I could not do that. Yet, because of our bond, you were the body that did what I could not. You carried her away as I wanted to, but couldn't. The Seirei-Joumae made us balance each other."

"But why? What does all of this have to do with protecting the clan? Rukia would have died if things hadn't happened the way they did, sure, but that doesn't mean your clan would be destroyed, right? And either way, Aizen would have collected the Hougyoku and left for Las Noches."

"But if Rukia had died that day, you and I would not have been given the chance to make things right. If Rukia had died, the Seirei-Joumae would have been shattered. We would have become enemies. But Ichigo defeated me, freeing me to protect Rukia when Aizen threatened her."

"But how does Aizen Sousuke figure into all of this? I mean, you said he's a threat to your clan and that this Seirei-Joumae activated because of that, but…"

"Aizen Sousuke has long been a threat to my family."

"I know you and he weren't on good terms after he…after he hurt you. That was why I thought you might have killed him."

"Aizen was a threat from further back, Renji. And the root of the Seirei-Joumae, the thing that set us on the path to its activation was when I was just turning eighteen. I witnessed him raping Gin, but at the time, did not know it was him, and Gin was afraid to tell me. I healed Gin and just after, my grandfather and Aizen arrived as Gin was kissing me to show his gratitude for my assistance. My personal attendant was murdered that night and the killer was never found. But I know now that it was Aizen. He was issuing me a warning, because he thought I was trying to steal Gin away from him. Not long after, Aizen asked my grandfather to allow me to accompany him on a mission to the living world. The mission was simply an excuse to isolate me. As soon as we arrived, he forced Gin to help him restrain me and he raped me. He ordered Gin to keep me bound after, but he defied Aizen's order and let me go, though as I left and returned home, I didn't realize that I had been hypnotized by Kyouka Suigetsu to forget everything. I went home and I collapsed. The healers knew I had been raped, but Aizen skewed the results of the tests that were taken to find the culprit and nothing could be proven. I did not remember what he did until he tried to rape me again some years later, and I couldn't officially accuse him, because the proof had been concealed."

"Taichou," whispered Renji, white-faced, "I didn't know."

"No one knew but Aizen and me. After that, he stayed away from me. But he was still plotting against me, because he thought that I looked down on him because he is not noble, and because twice, I escaped his revenge. But this is why, you see. This is why he chose Rukia to use in his plans. He wanted to set the king up to die and to crush the noble houses, but he also wanted badly to hurt me. This is the force that made the Seirei-Joumae form and it activated the day I met you. But until I bond with my soul mate, I am vulnerable. He has already raped me twice, and if he reaches me again, then the Seirei-Joumae will fail and I will be bonded to him instead. At that point, the house Kuchiki will fall to his power. I have no choice but to seek that other, that one soul that can bond with mine. Renji, yours is that soul."

Renji blinked and stared down at his tightly clenched hands. He felt his body shaking inside and a cold, sick feeling growing inside him. He looked at Byakuya and tried to imagine him in any way other than powerful, as something close to vulnerable, as Aizen's victim. Even feeling the truth of Byakuya's words, and even feeling something of romantic potential between them, that they could have been connected all along.

"Taichou?" he gasped softly, unclenching his hands and climbing to his feet.

Byakuya stared at him silently.

"Taichou, I…"

He stepped back, his body shaking harder as the truth worked its way down inside him.

"Renji," Byakuya said, stopping him, "As relates to Soutaichou's order, I find that while you are guilty of crimes relating to your battle with me and your taking of Rukia from the execution site, I find that these actions you took have mitigating circumstances. I will not hold them against you, nor will I punish you in any way. I want to bring an end to our differences and complete the Seirei-Joumae bonding. All that is left is for us to choose the joining. If this is acceptable to you, then you and I must link ourselves in mind, heart and body."

"Wh-what?" said Renji, stricken and breathless again, "What are you saying? We have to…?"

He stopped and backed another step away.

"We have to…?"

Byakuya's eyes rose to meet his and Renji read the look of sincerity there, and that it was more terrifying than any punishment he could have been given. Something inside the redhead's mind snapped and he turned and ran from the room. He couldn't stop to think or even breathe as the space opened up between them.

It can't be true!

_It can't be me!_

_It just…can't!_

Byakuya sat quietly, his heart aching for his spooked soul mate, but knowing the uselessness of anything he might do.

_What happens now is in Renji's hands, not mine. He will come to terms with what I've said and he accept it or reject it. My fate and my clan's hangs on that man's heart._

_I know…_

_It is a terrible burden, isn't it?_

_And it is thoroughly selfish of me, but it's such a relief not to carry it alone._


	12. Shrouded Moon

**Chapter 12: Shrouded Moon**

Byakuya's heart sank as Renji disappeared out the door at flash step speed. And disappointment warred with self-reproach as he tried to come to terms with what had happened. He had been so sure this time that Renji was the one. For several long moments, he had convinced himself that once he made himself say the words, everything would be all right.

He felt like the worst kind of fool.

He had given Renji too much of the truth at once and had driven him away. He hadn't been astute enough to realize that whatever he might feel for Renji, it wasn't necessarily returned. To Renji, he was just the somber, demanding taicho who told him what to do and had him making tea and chasing hollows all of the time. Renji didn't see him in a romantic way.

"I really should have known," he whispered softly.

He decided suddenly that he couldn't bear it anymore…the lonely white walls, the smell of disinfectants, the sounds of people in pain. He wanted to be at home…in his own bed, curled up and watching the rain fall. He didn't want to think about how stupid he had been to think that the beautiful, fiery young redhead would ever look at him in a loving way. Renji had only seen him as an obstacle from the very beginning. And he had nearly killed Renji. No wonder Renji ran from him.

Renji would die for Rukia or Ichigo or any of his friends, but he didn't have a place like that in his heart for Byakuya.

He put a hand over his healing chest and bit his lips to keep from moaning at how much he was hurting, inside and out. He pushed himself to his feet and stood, then waited for his head to clear before moving on to the closet to find his clothing. He exchanged the yukata he was wearing for a clean shihakusho Rukia had left for him and slipped into the hallway, quietly avoiding the healers as he worked his way to the exit. He turned into the darkened office section and left by way of the back door, then walked slowly along the street towards Kuchiki Manor. He went as far as the sixth division office and felt his heart pounding too hard and his body shaking ominously. Figuring that he could always return to the manor after resting, he entered the empty office and went straight to his quarters without even stopping to make tea. He dropped onto his bed, his healing heart aching with every beat.

He lay for a long time, looking through the window at the rain that poured down in sheets. Eventually, he drifted off into a fitful sleep.

XXXXXXXXXX

Renji was nearly to the entrance to the Rukongai when he realized what he had just done and slid to a stop. He stood, panting softly in the falling rain, hearing Byakuya's voice in his mind.

"The council of elders told me that day…that I had met my soul mate, Renji. My soul mate is the only one who can trigger what is known as the Seirei-Joumae…a linking of spirits that can never be broken, not even by death."

"Fuck…" he breathed, "What's wrong with me?"

The strongest and most beautiful taicho in the Gotei 13, and the man Renji had sought to surpass wanted him…romantically.

He tried to wrap his mind around the idea and couldn't. He tried to picture himself wrapping his arms around Byakuya's slender body, sinking his face into long strands of sakura scented, black hair and feeling the light, beautiful silk of the ginpaku kazahana no uzuginu against his skin…of kissing those sensuous lips that loved teasing him with a sarcastic smirk when he did something stupid…to dip his tongue into the noble's mouth and curl his tongue around the one that issued orders, that used words laced with sarcasm, that sometimes tormented him when Byakuya was drinking tea and used it to brush the excess drops from his lips.

Okay, so maybe he could imagine a few things. But the thing about that, he told himself, was that it was all in his mind, and it usually ended with him saying to himself, "Get your mind out of the gutter, Abarai. He would never consent to do those things with you!"

But all of a sudden, that barrier had disappeared. All of a sudden, those things that he could only imagine before were looming up in front of him and taunting him with their closeness. So it wasn't that being with Byakuya sexually frightened him, it was that even though the words had come from the noble himself, Renji had been terrified to believe them.

Byakuya, beautiful, powerful, untouchable Byakuya ,wanted _him_. It had to be some kind of joke, some kind of cruel mistake.

The words from their battle were still fresh in his head, how he would always reach for Byakuya, but would never do anything more than to touch his reflection. But now the moon had fallen straight from the sky and into his hands. And being the idiot he was, he had reflexively thrown it down onto the ground and run from it.

Because the moon wasn't supposed to come to him. It was supposed to be out of his reach. It wasn't supposed to reach back for him. It was unexpected, but not, he decided, unwelcome.

He took a few deep breaths and let his heart calm. He shivered as the rain ran in thin trails down his body and realized that he was soaked to the skin and probably looked stupid, standing in the rain and staring into the distance.

But he didn't know what to do.

He thought that his best bet would be to start by apologizing. Because Byakuya had to have been hurt by his reaction. He would probably be angry and want to punish Renji somehow, but after being nearly killed by the noble, he didn't think there was much else that could be that painful. What came after, he didn't know. They would have to figure that out as they went.

"Renji?" said Rukia's voice from behind him, "What are you doing?"

"Ah…Rukia," he stammered, trying to think of something to say.

"Where did you come from? You're as wet as I am?"

"I was returning from Karakura Town. I went to see Urahara-san and the rain started while I was coming back. What about you?"

"I ah…ah…never mind. It's not important. Come on. Let's get out of the rain. The sixth division's close. We can shower and dry off our things there."

Rukia shook her head knowingly, but sighed and followed the redhead back to the sixth division. He was surprised to find the door unlocked and the lights on and made a mental note to kick Rikichi's butt later. He opened the door to his quarters and followed Rukia inside, then shut the door behind them.

"Here," he said, handing her one of his yukatas, "You can wear this until your things are dry."

"Thanks," Rukia said, laughing, "but I think it's going to drag on the ground. You're too tall, baka!"

She disappeared into the bathroom, then opened the door and handed him her wet clothes. Renji accepted them and set them aside, stripping his own wet clothes away and slipping into a dry yukata. He took the wet clothes down to the laundry room and tossed them in the dryer, then flash stepped back to his room. Rukia was done with the shower and laid on his bed, reading.

"What's that?" Renji asked, "What're you reading?"

"Oh…just some things I picked up in the living world. I find it interesting."

"Oh," he said, dropping into a chair.

"So," Rukia said, sitting up, "Why don't you tell me now why you were standing in the rain out near the Rukongai? It isn't the time when we usually go to honor our friends in Inuzuri…"

"No," Renji said, thinking, "It wasn't that. Rukia…something happened…between Taicho and me."

"Hmm?" she said, looking up, "What do you mean 'something happened?' What happened? Did you have a fight?"

"Ah…not exactly."

"Look, I know that Nii-sama didn't help me until the end, but Renji, I don't want you to hold that against him."

"I'm not."

"He was there when it counted and I know things will be different now."

"I said I'm not holding that against him," Renji insisted.

"You're not? Then is it about your battle with him?"

"No…no, it's not."

"Renji, I don't want you to hate him. I know he's made mistakes, but…"

"Rukia, stop, that isn't it!"

"Okay, fine!" she said, exasperated, "Then why don't you stop messing around and just tell me what it is?"

Renji sighed heavily.

"I ah…when I was at the healing center today, Taicho told me something. He told me something and I didn't believe it. And I kinda lost it and ran out of there. I ran as far as the spot where you found me, and then I stopped and was thinking things through. That's all. I was just thinking about what he said."

"Are you going to keep it to yourself?" Rukia asked sarcastically, "Or are you planning on telling me?"

Renji shook his head.

"It's really kinda private. I don't know if he would like it if I told you."

"But I can tell you need to talk about it. Renji, we have been friends all our lives. I won't tell Nii-sama whatever you tell me. I promise."

Renji bit his lip, considering.

"Hey," said Rukia, "just go take a hot shower and calm yourself down and when you're done, we can talk, okay?"

Renji hesitated, then let out a long breath.

"Okay."

He turned and retreated into the bathroom. He groaned softly as the hot water chased away the chill inside him and felt the anxiety easing. Breathing in deeply, he let his body relax underneath the hot spray. He thought again about Byakuya's words and felt a soft jolt go through him. He thought about what would happen if he and the noble got past his stupid reaction and actually started to pursue a romantic relationship. He had, of course, seen Byakuya naked before at the hot springs. He knew exactly what the noble's body looked like without any clothes. He knew from healing the noble that his skin was petal soft and he smelled like cherry blossoms. The thought of touching him wasn't unpleasant at all. In fact, it sent another soft jolt through his abdomen and made him harden. He smiled to himself, thinking about laying all of that white skin bare and kissing every inch of it. No, that was not unpleasant at all.

What was unpleasant was the fact that he had probably hurt Byakuya by running. He needed to go back to the healing center and apologize. He decided he would go as soon as his clothes were dry. He finished his shower and dried off, then put on his yukata and left the bathroom.

"Took you long enough," Rukia chuckled.

"I was relaxing," he said, snapping his towel at her, "You should try it sometime."

"I relax plenty," she said, "but you won't stay relaxed if you don't talk about this. C'mon, spill. What's up between you and Nii-sama?"

"I'll tell you when I get back from getting our clothes from the laundry room," Renji promised.

"Better yet, I'll go with you," Rukia said, climbing to her feet.

She followed him out the door and into the hallway.

"Look, we'll figure this out," she said, looking up at him, "and don't worry, Nii-sama won't hear about it from me, I promise."

Renji didn't answer. His face had gone white and he was staring across the hall to where Byakuya stood, just outside his quarters, staring at them with an unreadable look in his dark eyes. He took in the words and the sight of the two wearing Renji's yukatas and blinked slowly.

"Nii-sama," Rukia said, looking down at the too large yukata she wore, then back at her brother's face.

He was there one moment, his eyes glinting like chips of ice, then he disappeared in a flash step and they were alone in the hallway.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Oh, my kami," gasped Renji, "Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Rukia, tell me that didn't just happen?"

Rukia shivered, remembering what she had seen in her brother's eyes.

"You mean…you and…and Nii-sama…?" she gasped, wide-eyed, "And now he thinks we…?"

Rukia's face went as white as his and her hand flew to her wide open mouth. Renji stood, rooted to the spot and having no idea what to do next.

"I'm dead," he whispered in shock, "He's going to take Senbonzakura and he's going to fucking KILL me this time!"

"You and me both, I think," Rukia said, sounding sick to her stomach, "Even if he wasn't interested in you…to…to think we'd do this…and here of all places. Renji, he has to be furious!"

Renji released a shaky breath.

"Well, you just stay here. I'll find him and talk to him. I don't want you involved in this. If he's pissed, let him take it out on me, okay?"

"Renji!"

"Just…just stay here…please!" Renji said, sensing the noble's direction and flash stepping after him.

Rukia turned to follow, but thought better of it and headed for the laundry room to get her clothes. She was sure she'd face her brother's anger soon enough.

XXXXXXXXXX

Byakuya flash stepped blindly through the rain, forgetting everything but the sight of Rukia and Renji dressed in Renji's nightclothes and coming out of the redhead's quarters. And what Rukia had said!

"Look, we'll figure this out," she said, looking up at him, "and don't worry, Nii-sama won't hear about it from me, I promise."

He knew well enough what she must have been talking about. Renji had been willing to die for her, so it made sense that he would want her. He had probably wanted her all along, but hadn't had the courage to approach her while she was at Byakuya's side. But now that he was fukutaicho level and Rukia had been cleared, the obstacles had been cleared from his path and Renji was free to pursue her.

He couldn't be angry at Renji for wanting to be with Rukia.

It actually made sense.

What didn't make sense was the feeling tearing through him and causing him more pain than having his heart shredded by Gin's blade. He couldn't breathe or speak or even see. He moved without thought, flash stepping to the main senkaimon and breaking into the precipice world. He slowed for a moment, sensible thought invading and stood, wondering what he should do. The sound of a footstep on stone, startled him, and he turned, sensing the approach of a familiar reiatsu.

_Of course. I rarely make a move without this person knowing about it._

"Byakuya-sama, you look as though you need a quiet place to go for some privacy."

He looked up at the speaker, a slightly younger noble, with features similar to his own, wide sapphire blue eyes and seated astride a tall, black Arabian stallion with like colored eyes.

"Will you allow me to accompany you?" the young man asked.

Byakuya continued to look up at him quietly for a moment, thinking, then he nodded briefly.

"Thank you, Tetsuya."

"No thanks are necessary, Cousin," said Tetsuya, extending a hand, "You know I am always here for you."

"Yes."

He steadied Byakuya as he mounted, then turned the stallion in the direction of Karakura Town. Byakuya slid his arms around his cousin's waist, closing his eyes and trusting the other man to lead them correctly. They emerged from the precipice world, and the stallion delivered them to the steps of a small, private cottage overlooking a pretty, tranquil lake.

They dismounted and went inside, where Byakuya slid into a comfortable chair and watched as Tetsuya lit a fire in the fireplace, then adjourned to the kitchen to make tea. Byakuya looked quietly into the flames, reliving what had happened at the sixth division.

_What will happen to us now? _he wondered, _There is no one else who could have activated the Seirei-Joumae. And if we do not complete our joining, we will become enemies and Aizen Sousuke will bring about the fall of our house._

_But what am I to do?_

_I cannot make Renji love me if his heart is with Rukia._

"Byakuya-sama," said Tetsuya, setting the tea at his cousin's side, "Is there...something that I can do to assist you? You look very troubled."

"Yes, _watashi no itoko_, I am," Byakuya admitted softly, "Tetsuya, there is something you can do, something quite important."

Tetsuya looked back at him expectantly.

"You know that the Seirei-Joumae was triggered some time ago and the elders made the assumption that it was triggered by the arrival of Rukia into the family?"

"Yes."

"It was not triggered by Rukia."

"But by your subordinate, Renji?" Tetsuya queried, "I had been wondering. I wasn't listening to your conversations in the hospital, but that man did seem to have your attention. I thought that it might be that."

"Then, you know that Renji needs to be protected."

"So do you," Tetsuya said solemnly, "If you are asking me to leave you and to go look after him…"

"Leave Arashi to stand guard here, please," Byakuya interrupted, coaxing a look of surprise from the younger man, "You _were_ about to refuse to leave me alone, ne?"

"I was," Tetsuya admitted, loosing a small smile, "But as your request is so sensible, I will go as you have asked. Only tell Arashi if you need me and I will return."

"Very well," Byakuya said gratefully, "Thank you again, Tetsuya."

He watched in silence as Tetsuya left the cottage, then moved to the large, comfortable seat in the small bay window, where he gazed at the moon's reflection in the lake until he fell asleep there. As he slept, the stallion stood in the shadows outside, his eyes that were like his shinigami master's focused steadily on the area around them.


	13. White Protector

**Chapter 13: White Protector**

Renji focused on the traces of Byakuya's reiatsu and followed at flash step speed, but was impeded by the fact that the noble had access to a family senkaimon, while the redhead was forced to travel to the central senkaimon, where he waited impatiently as the senkaimon guards verified his identity, then allowed him to pass.

He entered the darkness and quiet of the precipice world, thankful for the chance to consider what to say to his probably furious superior when he found him. At first, he was too petrified to come up with anything. But as time wore on and he worked his way through the dark corridors, he calmed somewhat and began to think more clearly.

_I screwed things up, sure. But Taicho said that this Seirei Joumae chose me to help him. As mad as he is, I don't think the guy is going to give up completely. He probably just needed time to think things through. When I find him and explain what was really going on, we'll work things out. It will be all right. I just need to..._

He was brought out of his thoughts by the sound of the cleaner. The noise was not overly close, but as it was coming in his direction, he started to alter his course. But he had gone no further than a couple of steps when he heard an odd sound...perhaps a soft cry, coming from a corridor in the path of the oncoming cleaner.

"That's not good," he muttered, turning towards the sound and flash stepping forward.

At first, he found nothing. He thought he might have heard a sound of pain, but the odd echoes confused him about the direction. He listened carefully, hampered by the increasing noise of the approaching cleaner and wondered what to do.

"Hello?" he called out, "Someone there?"

Almost instantly, he heard an unintelligible, but distinct return cry. He angled towards the sound, breaking out in a sweat as the cleaner's roar grew painfully louder. He ran down the corridor the sound had come from, calling out the person again and obtaining a weak reply. He spotted a dark haired man collapsed on the ground ahead of him and his heart leapt into his throat.

"Taicho!"

He abandoned all caution, racing forward to collect the injured man into his arms as the cleaner appeared and rumbled towards them. Renji held on to the other man tightly and flash stepped wildly, staying just ahead of the cleaner and bursting through the first exit he saw. He came down in a park, a few blocks from Urahara Kisuke's shop an watched as the senkaimon closed between the marauding cleaner and them. He felt the man in his arms move and looked down, then made a sound of surprise and nearly dropped him.

"Y-you're not Byakuya," he mused, studying the lighter build of the man, the wavier black hair, wide blue eyes and the gentler expression on his pretty, battered face, "But you look kinda like him, especially in the dark. Are you a Kuchiki?"

"I...I am Kuchiki Tetsuya," the man told him as Renji set the noble on his feet, "I am Byakuya-sama's cousin and bodyguard."

"Your reiatsu feels familiar," noted the redhead, "I've sensed you near him before, although I don't think we've ever officially met. Are you all right? What happened to you?"

Tetsuya started to answer, but reeled as a wave of dizziness passed over him. He started to collapse, but was caught and lifted off of his feet again. Renji smiled at him kindly.

"Look, you got pretty beat up. I'm going to take you to Urahara Kisuke's and we'll get you fixed up. Then, I'll need you to take me to Taicho. I need to find him. We...had a misunderstanding and I really need to talk to him."

"Do not worry about me. Byakuya can heal me when we reach him, but we must return to him quickly. I encountered Aizen Sousuke and Ichimaru Gin in the precipice world as I sought to return to Soul Society to find you."

"You were looking for me?" Renji asked, flash stepping in the direction the noble had indicated, "Why? Were you looking for Taicho too?"

"I was with him all along."

Renji blushed.

"Then, you know about what happened at the sixth?"

"I know that he saw something that distressed him, but I do not know what it was," Tetsuya explained, wincing as a flash of pain passed through him.

"Hey, are you sure we shouldn't go to Kisuke?" Renji asked, "You really look like you got the stuffing knocked outta you. But to get away from Aizen Sousuke on your own, you must be pretty damned good in a fight."

"I am lucky enough to have never seen his shikai," Tetsuya explained, "So, where others couldn't fight him much at all because of his illusions, I was able to resist. But when he realized who I was, he tried to question me about Byakuya-sama. He knows that if he saw me, Byakuya-sama must be close by, and he seemed to want to find him. Renji-san, we must reach Byakuya-sama and warn him that Aizen Sousuke has an interest in finding him!"

"Okay, so it's this way?"

"Yes...follow this path to where you see a small lake that is fed by this river. Near the edge of the lake at the top of the hill, he has taken refuge in one of our safe houses. I took him there after I observed him leaving the sixth division."

Renji's eyes took on a guilty look and he bit at his lip gently.

"Damn it. he was pretty upset, ne?"

"Yes. He did not seem of a mind to speak much of it, but he was very concerned with protecting you. He remained at the cottage and sent me to find you."

"You left him alone?" Renji asked quickly, alarm in his voice.

"No," Tetsuya said, his voice weakening as pain and blood loss began to overwhelm him, "He is not alone. He is well protected, or I would not have left him. I..."

Renji stared in dismay as Tetsuya's eyelids fluttered fitfully and closed.

"Tetsuya-san!" he cried, "Shit, I knew we shoulda gone to Kisuke!"

He looked around frantically and spotted the place where the river branched off and fed into the lake that the noble had described to him. He flash stepped up the hill and looked around at the few cottages that stood on the shore.

"Which one are you in Taicho..." he muttered, reaching out with his senses.

He started to move towards one where he thought he sensed Byakuya's reiatsu, but stopped cold a moment later as he found himself nose to nose with a tall, black and lovely, but menacing looking Arabian stallion.

"Whoa there, big fella," Renji said, stepping back, "Take it easy."

He jumped in surprise, nearly dropping Tetsuya's limp body as a wispy male voice hissed angrily in his mind.

_What have you done to my master? Put him down at once!_

"Wha-what? Your master?" stammered the redhead, backing away, "You're Tetsuya's horse?"

_I am Arashi, and yes, Kuchiki Tetsuya is my master. Now, put him down before I take him back from you forcibly._

"Hey! Easy there, you big, fleabag bully!" Renji objected, stepping back again as the stallion advanced.

He realized a step too late that he had reached the edge of the lake and started to fall. The stallion nipped Tetsuya away from him as he splashed down into the lake, sending up a spray that tickled the unconscious noble's face and stirred him as Arashi nuzzled his cheek and nickered softly.

"A-arashi?" Tetsuya mumbled dazedly.

The two went quiet as Byakuya appeared suddenly on the lake shore and he watched silently as Renji crawled out of the lake, spitting water out of his mouth and muttering furiously.

"That wasn't nice, you...!"

He broke off as Byakuya's eyes met his for a moment, then looked away. The noble flash stepped to his fallen cousin and knelt next to him, infusing his injured body with healing reiatsu as Tetsuya looked up at him apologetically.

"Gomen nasai, Byakuya-sama, I did attempt to reach Renji-san, but I encountered trouble in the precipice world and could not reach him."

"I'll say," Renji mused, "He ran headlong into Aizen and Gin."

"What?" Byakuya said, his eyes widening, "Tetsuya..."

"He wasn't able to use his illusions, but both he and Ichimaru Gin are more than competent with the sword. Oddly, though he was the one who brought me down, Gin also said something to me as he was checking for signs of life. He said, 'You'll live. Go back to Byakuya-san and tell him to be careful. Aizen has plans for him.' He couldn't say more as Aizen told him to leave me there for the cleaner to sweep up."

"Bastard!" Renji hissed furiously, "But...what's up with Gin? Why would he try to kill you, then say something like that?"

Byakuya sighed fretfully.

"Gin and I have something between us," he explained, "You remember that I told you what I saw happen to him that day at Kuchiki Manor?"

"Yeah."

"He felt he owed me. And he tried to repay me somewhat when he helped me to escape Aizen before."

"Are you saying that he's not an enemy after all?" Renji asked, frowning, "Then, why is he with Aizen? And why did he attack Tetsuya too!"

"I think, perhaps, he has some sort of plan of his own," concluded Byakuya, "But enough of that. We need to get inside. I don't want that man to find us here."

He started to lift Tetsuya, but had his cousin gently removed from his arms, by Renji.

"I'll take him," he offered, turning towards the cottage as Byakuya looked after him with troubled eyes.

He turned back to Arashi and nodded.

"Watch carefully," he warned the stallion, "in case they were followed."

_I will_, the stallion promised, bowing his head.

Byakuya turned and followed Renji back into the cottage, then shut the door behind them and set a privacy seal around the house. He joined Renji in one of the bedrooms, where the redhead laid the injured noble in bed and looked at him for permission, before loosening his clothing and continuing the healing that Byakuya had started. Tetsuya struggled to keep his eyes open, but tumbled into sleep as Byakuya sent a soft throb of sedative kido into his injured form. He watched quietly until he was certain that no more could be done, then met Renji's eyes solemnly.

"He will be all right now. He just needs to rest," the noble said wearily, "Why don't you go and take the room next to this. You need to rest as well. We can talk in the morning."

Renji sat back in the seat he had taken, next to Tetsuya's bedside and gazed at Byakuya silently for a moment.

"You really think it should wait?" he asked finally, "It sounds like Aizen is looking for you. The guy's powerful, and he's up to no good, and it's my job to keep him away from you."

"Why do you say that?" Byakuya asked in a tired voice, "You didn't seem interested in protecting me before. But I understand now. And I am sorry for putting you in an awkward position. I should have suspected from the start that your passionate determination to surpass me was the result of what you felt for her. It just took me a while to realize."

"Taicho, look, I tried to come after you because..."

"I don't need your pity, Renji," Byakuya said, interrupting him, "I managed alone before, and I will do so now. Just...return to Rukia and be certain that you make her happy."

He rose and started to turn out of the room, but was stopped by a hand on his arm. he turned to glare at the hand's owner, but suddenly found himself pulled into strong, intensely warm arms and thrust into the sweetest kiss that had ever graced his lips. Byakuya stiffened in surprise for a moment, then reeled, unable to open his eyes as the mind-numbing kiss continued.

"Renji, stop!" he objected as the redhead pushed him back against the wall and kissed him harder, "Abarai!"

The redhead's lips retreated then, but he continued to stand there quietly, still holding the stunned noble in place and waiting for his eyes to open again. When they finally did open, the noble's dark eyes sought his questioningly.

"Why did you do that?" he asked softly, "Renji, I told you. I..."

Renji stopped him with another warm, penetrating kiss.

"Stop it," he pleaded softly, "Just stop, okay? What you saw wasn't what you thought it was."

"What do you mean," the noble asked, looking confused, "I saw the two of you come out of your quarters, barely dressed and talking about how I 'wouldn't hear of it' from Rukia. What is not clear about that?"

"We got wet in the rain," Renji explained, loosening his hold on Byakuya slightly, but still keeping him cornered between him and the wall, "I was nearly to the living world by the time I got a hold of myself and realized what a jackass I'd been."

"Renji, I was stupid," the noble confessed, "I just threw all of that about the Seirei Joumae at you without thinking. Of course you would react that way...especially being interested in my sister."

"Would you quit saying that!" Renji said in an exasperated tone, "I'm not interested in Rukia! I bumped into her, just after realizing what an idiot I was to run off and leave you like that. We got wet in the rain and came here to dry off and clean up. That's all."

"Then, what was that Rukia said? It seemed pretty clear that you were hiding something from me. Not that you owe me any explanations, but I am curious."

Renji gazed at him quietly for a time, then nodded.

"I was getting ready to confide in her what you had told me and why I flipped out like that. That's all. There's nothing between Rukia and me, but friendship, Taicho. You don't have to worry about that."

Byakuya looked back at the redhead in silence for several minutes, letting the words soak in slowly and coping with what that meant.

_Then, there is still hope._

_And Renji's kiss tells me that he is not just here to apologize for hurting me._

"So, what happens now?" the redhead asked, "I mean, we know Aizen is after you, and this 'Seirei Joumae chose me to help you. So, what do we do now? You said something before about accepting the bond and joining mind, heart and body."

"Yes," the noble said quietly, "Should you choose to accept the bonding, we must join physically and within the elements of heart and mind, and we will become soul mates. After that, I do not know what will happen."

Renji's heart pounded and his head grew dizzy again, but he forced the feeling away. He took Byakuya's hands and nodded in acceptance, then forced out the words that made his heart pound until he thought it would come out of his chest.

"Okay. If that's what we need to do to protect you, then that's what we'll do."

He paused, somewhat surprised that something hadn't shattered as he said the words.

"Renji, you do not have to do this," Byakuya said, shaking his head, "I can see that you are petrified."

"Sure, I'm scared," the redhead admitted shakily, "but I care about you. I think that I might be in love with you, Taicho. And I'm not going to let Aizen Sousuke hurt you and your family. Even if not for you being my taicho, Rukia's like my own sister, and she loves you. She couldn't stand it if something happened to you...and...neither could I."

"Renji..."

His words were stopped by another long, hot, open-mouthed kiss.

"Come on," the redhead said smiling at him, "Let's go and get some rest. We can talk more in the morning. Or do you need me to stand watch?"

"Oh," said the flustered noble, "Arashi can tend to the watch for the night. But..."

He had the questions that rose on his lips suddenly answered as Renji lifted him off his feet and carried him into the next bedroom. He set the noble back on his feet and the two undressed and donned soft, sleeping yukatas. Byakuya laid down in the bed, blushing as Renji smiled at him and slid into the bed beside him. There was a long moment, where neither dared move, then Byakuya let out a sigh that sounded like relief to Renji. The noble turned and curled very cautiously into the redhead's arms. Renji didn't kiss him anymore, but just held him quietly and let his fingers play with the noble's soft hair as the two drifted off to sleep.

_Thank you for giving me hope, Renji._


End file.
